u/Desperate_Star3446

Hello, everyone, I won't reveal my name. But I'd like to tell you my story of the last few years. Perhaps someone will offer advice, someone will judge me, someone will support me. But I'd like to tell you what I've been through and how I'm living now. I'm interested in what other people will say about my current state. Everyone knows the events of 2022, when the war in Ukraine began. So, I'm an ordinary guy who was mobilized in 2022, and I was at war for two years. In those two years, my life has changed a lot: I got married, had a son who is now two years old, and I've made many friends who I made in the war. My story is this: I was mobilized in 2022, and I served there for two years until I realized and came to terms with the pointlessness of this war. I began to understand this when my brother died in the war and my son was born. I saw my comrades and friends die, die in your arms, bleeding in your arms, and you can't help them in any way. And they leave children, wives, and mothers at home. And you realize that someday it will be your turn, and at that moment you start wondering what this whole war is about. I'll say right away that I didn't kill a single person while I was there. But I saw a lot of deaths. I saw people choke on their own blood and die because they didn't have time to get to medical care. I saw people without legs joke about not having to buy shoes anymore. I was drafted into the war in 2022, and in 2023, when my brother died, I realized I wanted a child, even though I hadn't thought I was ready for it before. I first came on vacation, and a couple of days after returning, I went on vacation again, this time for my brother's funeral. When I got home, I told my wife I wanted a child. I was 23 at the time. She started asking why I'd reconsidered my decision, and I said, "I don't know if I'll be back on vacation or not." I reassessed my life and came to the conclusion that all the problems I'd had in civilian life were so trivial compared to the problems I had at war. When every minute at war could be your last, you look at life completely differently. Ultimately, we managed to have a child. While my wife was pregnant, I continued serving, and nothing changed in my life until the moment my child was born and I held him in my arms. That's when my life took a downturn. And no, this has nothing to do with my relationships within the family, or, as you might think, with the arguments we started having. On the contrary, our bond has strengthened. My device's battery is low, so I'll just throw in a few words of spam. If you'd be interested in hearing more, please leave a comment. I'll try to make another post or two. So, I'm in another country now, facing 10 years in prison in my home country, my family is in my home country, and I can't go back home, not because I'll be sent to prison, but because I might be sent back to war. I'll finish my story when I get the chance. Right now, I want my life to get better, because I'm so tired of this life. I'm from Russia, and it's really tough here right now.