u/Desmoverse

I'm sure you all know about the top 1 levels of geometry dash. Bloodbath, sonic wave, zodiac, tartarus, u/desmoverse never clear, slaughterhouse, and like 50 others. But, they are actually all a conspiracy.

So, you may be thinking "what in the hell series by sohn0924 is this desmoverse guy talking sbout?" But listen, it will make sense. So I'm sure you know who omniman is, hes the guy from [Title card], but he is actually the world's best gd player.

You see, omniman is a viltrumite. And viltrumites are from planet viltrum, you see what I mean? Well if you dont, I can explain. Basically, the planet viltrum has a v in its name, and you know what else had a v? Thats right, wingothy dingothy gaster from undertail. And in the level "icedcave" by slaughterhouse, there's snowman/snowwoman/snownon-binary. And snow people are made of snow.

So looking at everything I just wrote, I think its obvious why the top 1s are fake. But if you still dont get it, Basically omniman is zoink's friend's girlfriend's father's friend's uncle. And the uncle's name is Vanessa, and the uncle's favorite food is snow. He also lives in an icey cave.

I hope you now see why every top 1 is fake, and the only real one is chompstep super lucky draw II

Keyboard and sayo devices are generally considered the best input methods for geometry dash, due to their very fast response time. But what if I told you they are actually the worst way to play the game?

You see, according to my recent studies, sayo devices actually contain a chemical causing us to lobotomize ourselves. In my studies, I got a bunch of chimpanzees and put them in a cage together with that lobotomy device thing that goes in the head, and I put them in front of computers with bloodbath and a sayo devices. And wanna know what they did? They fucking lobotomized each other.

Keyboards aren't good either, I did the same experiment with the chimpanzees as last time, and the same thing happened again. But I also noticed a trend where keyboard players end up becoming corrupt billionaires, I mean, just look at doggie.

I hope that this essay will stop sayo devices and keyboards from being used, and people will realize that the best input device is a steering wheel.