TLDR: my friend won’t stop talking about how I need therapy before I get into this relationship and how she’s basically gonna stop being my friend if I get into this relationship. I keep trying to tell her to let me figure this out on my own but she’s genuinely not letting this go. I can’t even talk about him without her going on a whole rant.
Me and my best friend are both 20 years old and have been friends since we were 16 so she’s seen everything and has been through everything with me including seeing me finally get male attention.
At 19 I finally lost my virginity and I became obsessed with the man and everything went down hill from there. I started having sex with different men an then I would end up attached and upset for months on end. For months I just kept saying how much I missed the first dude I hooked up with and how hooking up with these man has taken a toll on my mental health and my self esteem/confidence.
She was there for me through it all even when she was annoyed and tired of hearing about it.
Currently I met a man on hing and it’s going really well. There are definitely some red flags such as how fast we’re moving and how we both have personal problems that we both agree we need to work on. Other than that it’s been so amazing and I could definitely see a relationship with him. I know all of the risks of this and I’ve been very transparent and me and him both have voiced our concerns and what could happen. I just know I’m really happy and this is my first time having a “bf” someone that wants more than just my body.
Every time I talk about John my best friend gets so upset and says “I’m not talking about him until you get therapy” she just keeps saying things along the lines of you both need therapy before a relationship (I don’t disagree) and that we aren’t gonna workout and she’ doesn’t wanna see me go into a bad place again which is completely understandable and neither do i, but she can’t make me do anything I just keep telling her to let me figure this out on my own and I’m just seeing where things go at this point.
She just KEEPS going on and on about it and I’m so tried of being lectured and told how I feel and told what I need to do every single time we talk. Obviously this is a very nuanced subject but I don’t even know what to do or say to her at this point. Today she says “I need a break” and “I need more friends because what you’re doing isn’t something I wanna be involved with” like dude. ITS MY LIFE. I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THE CONCERN BUT IM FEELING RESTRICTED AND ANNOYED.
What should I do?!! I feel like anything I say is wrong and I feel like I have no right to be upset because I know she just wants the best for me but this is getting ridiculous.