I’m attracted to kids and want to die.
This is a copy paste from a comment I made on another sub but felt like I wanted to come here now next. I just feel like writing this all out for first time is helping me cope, even in the smallest sense.
I’m attracted to children. Im a male aged in my mid-20s. I have never done anything/acted on it, and I want to kill myself almost daily with how much I hate myself for it. I want to vomit at times because of how sick I get from the disgust I have towards myself at times and have self harmed in the past multiple times because I have very little coping skills. Obviously no one knows and I never can tell anyone I’m close with this. It’s just something I’ll hate about myself for the rest of my life. I hope to build up the courage one day to have a therapist help me with this, but even that I feel like they will hate me and despise me which will stop me from being able to fully continue getting that help. Sadly for myself, even though it’s all only mental, most people would hate me and abandon me the second they find out my inner issues, even though I would kill myself before ever acting on this. Even typing this response makes me nauseous but for some reason I tell myself even if I talk about it anonymously, it might make me feel better. Chances are slim though. Im already a severely depressed person outside of this issue, but this thing is my personal 100 pound cherry on top. I hate that I was born this way, and will never understand why.