i’m a current third year med student- loved my EM rotation. always thought i wanted to do IM but I did my EM rotation and genuinely felt excitement going to into the hospital for every shift. I loved the idea of working your shift and being able to come home and not have to be on call- it was the perfect balance for me.
i’ve currently applied to about 4 auditions in local and big city areas in the midwest. my parents and friends have always been one of my biggest support systems. last night, i came home to have dinner w my parents and they suggested we watch “the pitt” to see what my future life could look like. (i should’ve told them prior that this show grossly exaggerates the amount of traumas and complex cases you see day to day in the ER). as we finished the first episode my parents looked at me and said “are you sure you want to do this- this is scary, can you handle this?”
i’d never had that doubt before. i was so focused on my love for the rotation, the people i met, being able to do procedures, getting to see a variety of different medical problems in just an 8 hour shift. now, im sitting here in doubt thinking about if i can really handle it. it doesn’t help that when i was talking to another medical school friend she said “you’re dead set on EM??”
i’ve always been an “anxious” person. i hate tests, i overthink a lot of things- been on prozac for years etc. yes anxiety affects me in my day to day life and my friends and family know this about me. i know feeling some anxiety at work and in residency is absolutely normal. but does this mean I can’t handle Em? should I be rethinking this decision? suddenly the excitement i had has all turned to self doubt.