I'm in Europe, travelling with my 80 y/o spouse. We made a deal before the USA: that he would not cling on my arms for constant support, but he would use hiking poles like every other tourist geezer does. That he would hold onto handrails, if necessary.
Well, after 3 weeks of travelling and clinging to me, never using the poles once, and ignoring handrails, he fell. We were on a train going about 130 mph and I told him to hold onto the handles on top of each seat cash e was making a trip to the bathroom. He did not do as instructed, and he fell. Thankfully only a few bruises and a cut on his leg, he was very lucky he landed on top of another passenger.
I thought for sure he would've learned from that. Nope.
Yesterday we were transferring from a platform to another train - me lugging 2 suitcases and 2 backpacks and I was calling out to him, "hold onto the rails, hold onto rails" as he was stumbling to make his way onto the train.
He turned to me and yelled, "Get away from me!"
I'm sure he is sick and tired of being reminded of this while in escalators, climbing on/off trains, and in moving vehicles like airplanes. But he absolutely refuses to listen. He shrugs me off and goes his own way, stumbling and bumbling. Thank goodness there are kind strangers who reach out lend him an arm or stabilize him.
Some of this balance and slow reflex time is due to him not being on top of his meds: he is still sticking to a dose of what worked for him years ago, whereas what he could take every 6 hours now needs to be taken every 4 hours. He knows this, but doesn't adhere to it. I've told him to set his fancy apple watch with reminders, and to carry spare meds in his wallet. He ignores me.
I made up my mind yesterday, after his last outburst, that I'm not longer traveling with him. It's miserable for me and I'm just a constant nagger every 5 minutes.
When we were at the Amsterdam airport waiting to board the plane, a gate agent walked up to me and said she thought my husband should pre-board, as he looked like he needed extra time and possible assistance (he has tremors, shuffles a bit, vacant expression). I thanked her and started urging my spouse to move along. He got upset with me and said, "I don't need any special treatment." So it's not just me who is seeing this.
I don't know what to do. If I travel alone he says it's not fair, and even when I try to make accommodations like stay in flat locations, only places with elevators, or confined areas like a cruise ship he refuses to take safety precautions.
Please advise.