Uk based. 3 year old struggling with transition
Hi,
My son turned 3 last month and with this he moved up to the pre school room in nursery. He is not diagnosed as we are awaiting assessment but GP, paediatrician, nursery, health visitor etc have all agreed he is very likely to get an official diagnosis and has suspected autism on his medical records. He’s on the early years Sen register, we’ll be starting an ehcp soon. Awaiting OT to do an assessment and awaiting SLT. We got referred to portage last week too.
He currently doesn’t speak, he can say the alphabet and count to 20 but that’s all. He will hand lead me to the snack cupboard when he’s hungry sometimes but normally he will scream while I go through what he might want. I am continuously trying communication pictures but not much success so far. I leave them out in sight and show him as I offer each item, a few times he’s gone up and pointed to drink so I think it’s just perseverance. We are on the waiting list for SLT. He’s always had a big speech delay but we had about 20-30 words in January but he went to bed one day and we lost them all along with some other things.
Anyway now he turned 3 he moved up to the preschool room and he is very clearly not coping and I’m stuck on what to do. Nursery see some behaviours but they believe he’s masking, as soon as we are out the gate, he completely loses control. He’s kicking, hitting, biting, trying to bang his head on the floor. We live a 2 minute walk which is taking 40+ minutes if I let him walk as he just lies on the floor screaming or if I carry him he gets even more distressed. He absolutely will not go in a pram, he’s terrified of them and can get out of them. He’s began running off when we walk (when he’s not lying on the floor) and as he has no sense of awareness I’m having to intervene so he doesn’t get hit by a car etc. I had such a happy child before this move but they can’t move him back, he’s on a bigger ratio now and there’s no space for him. Nursery tell me he’s quite withdrawn there currently, I just don’t know what to do. I can’t take him out, I need to work financially. His dad passed away when he was a young baby, it’s very much just me and him but I can’t let him struggle like this. The walk to nursery is 50/50, he will still run off but it’s only 50/50 whether he becomes as distressed as when I pick him up going. He’s never particularly happy going now but he’ll go some of the time.
It’s not ideal but I don’t actually care about him hurting me but when he’s trying to headbut the pavement and trying to run infront of cars, he’s screaming and crying this is so new. He’s always been very routine based but he can’t cope with any transitions anymore. Taking his coat off, getting out the bath etc. Smaller things he used to be absolutely fine with, are not fine anymore. He used to eat absolutely anything and now will only eat about 4 foods. He used to be so happy and now I very rarely see him smile. Even when he calms down once we’re in, he’s just not himself.
Has anyone else’s child struggled like this when moving rooms in childcare? What can I do to help him? Once he’s in bed I just sob because he’s struggling so much and I don’t know how to help him
He has his moments when he’s with me and not at nursery, but it’s nothing like this