I hate this
I hate this so much. I hate waking up every day knowing that I'm a part of a group of people so built around pushing away the idea of actually being men. Cis men. Which is sick, because it's the only thing I want to be. If I didn't want to be a cis man, then I wouldn't be trans, and yet I feel like shit being a part of any of this. There's really no winning. This really is one of the only places on the internet where I don't feel like a mentally ill lesbian that's getting upset over the other mentally ill lesbians that are playing pretend with all their "vxlid kweer" labels. At least here I'm just another miserable man, instead of any of that other bullshit that the wider community pushes onto trans males. I guess I'm just not going to be free from it until I'm able to get the surgeries I want and I'm able to just ignore the trans community altogether. I really really hate this.