u/Deep_Ad1959

been on a contemplative path for a few years, mostly body awareness work. the inner quiet is real and I'm grateful for it. but there's a side effect I wasn't expecting.

the more still I get inside, the more distance I feel from people I used to be close to. not resentment, nothing dramatic. just this sense that we're operating at different speeds. conversations I used to enjoy feel like they take something from me now. and I catch myself preferring an evening alone over almost any social plan.

part of me thinks this is just what growth feels like, outgrowing patterns that no longer serve you. another part wonders if I'm spiritually bypassing my need for connection. does the loneliness soften at some point or is this just the trade?

about three years into a daily practice. the thing nobody tells you is that consistency changes what you're willing to tolerate socially, and not always in ways that feel good.

I used to be fine going out, making small talk, staying at parties late. now I leave early. not anxious, just done. I notice a pulling sensation in my chest when conversations are just noise and I've started trusting that signal more than the social obligation to stay.

the weird part is I'm not unhappy. I actually feel calmer than I ever have. but my social circle has gotten smaller and some old friends have definitely noticed. I keep wondering if this is meditation working or if I'm using "mindfulness" as an excuse to avoid the messiness of human connection. anyone else gone through this?