Struggling getting back to my practice
One day I’m waking up and meditating for 20 mins before getting up to start my day. Spending a lot of my free time consuming Buddhism.. from podcasts, books, this community. Visited a sangha near me a few times which felt like I had to everything I was looking for. Followed the 5 precepts as best as I could. The practice became a big part of my life.
I got into spiritually after a low point in my life and eventually found my way to the dhamma. My life has improved in more ways than I could have ever imagined since starting my practice.
I’m so grateful for having the opportunity to come across the dhamma. It has given me so much. Which in return has helped me give more to others.
But before you know it, I was no longer committing to my practice and completely fell off of it. I became like a chore. I didn’t wanna do it. Idk why. I didn’t want it to feel like a chore.
Fast forward a little over a year and here I am.
I feel more anxious overall. More depressed at times. I feel less connected with myself and others. Less patience. Less peacefulness. Going thru the motion.
I want to get back to my practice. Trying to ease myself back into it. But I just can’t get myself to do it. No matter what I do.. why does it feel so difficult when I know what the dhamma brought to my life.
Tbh not sure what I’m looking for. Idk if others have had similar experiences. Did you eventually come back to your practice and the dhamma?