Always dark dreams.
I was back home in Vancleave, Mississippi with my family. I haven't lived with them in 7 years due to some things that happened and destroyed my mental health (divorces and other stuff) although it was a long time ago I find myself having dreams here and there mostly not good not knowing what to make of it.
In this dream, it was morning although it was dark outside and we were saying grace for breakfast and as we were saying grace my mom looked at my little brother and hit his hand for touching something on the table, it hurt pretty bad given his reaction. he held it while beginning to cry but trying to muffle himself so no one could hear him. although I'm myself in the dream; 22 years old now and well built, not the scrawny 140lb 16 year old, regardless out of past trauma I was scared to do anything so I gestured to him across the room that it's gonna be okay and to just endure the hand pain. he looked at me reassured and endured.
I love my little brother as well as all of my other siblings but then my mom comes next to me while looking at him and says a verse and asks something about a verse, and he says quietly "Ephesians 8" and mom said, "nope, it was Ephesians 11" and she grabbed a belt and dragged him into the kitchen to whip him and then ended up accidentally hitting the baby who's not even a year old. out of panic and fear I ran outside screaming at the top of my lungs yelling "why", full of rage, distress, and panic as I was screaming in the back yard crying my eyes out because I was too scared to stand up to the woman who raised me while I watched her do things that one of the men she had been with had done to me, he was much worse though. as I was screaming and I began to stop, I heard something like a crying baby out in the distance near the wood line. not sure what it was and not wanting to know I ran back towards my house, before I got to my door I woke up. kind of weird for that to be a thing in a dream about abuse but what do I know. it was the woods of Mississippi so maybe a big cat or something.
My Mom did her best to be a good mother, but it was because of her I moved away from family and spent the rest of my teenage years living with friends. it's just impossible for me to have a dream where it's anything good, I've been sitting here pondering everything for an hour now.