Threatened?
never had an issue at work because of my personality. I can come across as bitchy, when I'm focused and overwhelmed; however nobody has ever had a problem with it.
Recently, I encountered a new manager thinking that I need to be easy on him because he's new in the corporate world, and into his position; and I told him that I do understand he's new and I have patience. That doesn't mean I'm not going to keep him accountable though. It definitely does not mean that I will stop sending emails after having a conversation about an incident, or a situation that it's worth keeping track of in my outlook.
If he has a problem with me being straightforward I think that is a personal problem. I do not go to work to comfort anybody. I get paid to protect the company and my employees, I'm not here to pamper anybody. And while I can have empathy and be nice to people, when business comes I switch. I lock in and I do not care if you don't like what I'm saying, it is what it is. Confrontation is part of being a leader. I think that someone who manages people should be able to handle those difficult conversations that need to happen to keep the place running, if they don't they should find a different career path.
Going a bit to the left though; would this man think the same if I was a man?
His direct manager which is one of my directors of operations has the same communication style as I do, does he have the same problem with him? I wonder if he will think the same once a client acts up on him, or once the CFO yells at him because he is doing too much overtime.
Would he tell them that they sound frustrated?
I bet no.
Men get threatened by powerful and confident women, in the workplace and in life. I see it everyday, with my boss, with my other coworkers, with me; when they question us, our decisions and our actions. When they have to go to someone above us to make sure we're not just being a bitch.
Even our regular employees, some of them do not like working with women area managers because they're women, no any other issue.
And I'm not sorry for not being comforting. I'm not a therapist or his mom. I will not be sugar coating or changing who I am to make one person feel more comfortable.
I will not make myself smaller so that he can fit. It's been said twice to me, and I did not appreciate the way the second time was brought up. He was asked how it is to work with me, and the first thing he had to say was something negative, not the fact that I'm seated all day solving issues, updating their changes, keeping everyone compliant, it's the fact that I do not add emojis and hearts to my messages. Ithink that says more about him than about me. And even then I had to go back and check myself, analyze interactions to try and understand who I am and if my reality was distorted.
Turns out if I was a man, I'd be the man.