(fwi writing this while i'm extreely anxious, my chest hearts, etc).
So i'm an int'l student and job search, passing classes, has been an immense stress this semester. Thankfully the Lord has blessed me with a job and I'm so so so thankful.
Now, bit of an int'l student TMI, but because we can't work while taking classes, it was extremely stressful at one point when i was on verging of failing two classes in my engineering. And because i needed those two to count toward my degree, I couldn't afford to fail because otherwise I would have to delay my grad thus asking my employer to delay start date which they possibly could say "No. We'll go with other candidate."
But there are more details that has made me extremely anxious, lose sleep, headache, and etc that I can't even explain in one Reddit post.
However, my midterm grades for both classes came out great, and now for one of the classes, I'm ending up with A-. Now, this next class, I computed that worst case scenario, I need about 15% on my final exam to pass.
Yet, after midterm 2, I was so burnt out and doing other work for other classes, I just could not get myself to study in-advance. Now, the exam is tomorrow, and I"m anxious, I don’t know why because I only need 15% (worse case), 5% (best case).
I just don't know why. i'm so anxious i keep thinking that i'll fail and lose my graduation and lose my job and everything. I legit think the devil is trying to dismantle me - because My faith has never been so strong recently. I keep thinking of worse case scenario. And i always have this consciousness thoughts that if i'm "lazy" and ask God for help God will be like no because you haven't done the work.
And I want to ask God to allow me to pass this exam and go do the job that He has blessed me with. Can I still pray to God about this even though I"m not as prepared as I wanted/should? Will God be disappointed at me because i'm "lazy"?
Thank you so much! Writing this made me feel better. My hearts are beating so fast, i can't sleep more than 6 hrs, and whenever i pray to God i feel so much better but I"m a constant overthinker and I grew up not wanting to disappoint peopleso I do the same with God.
God bless.