I feel insane. My ex boyfriend from high school/college and I had the most toxic addictive relationship ever. Very on and off but always came back to eachother. It was incredibly dark for how young we were, but I was completely obsessed and in love with him, and I never thought I’d be able to get over him.
Anyways, we ended things on lowkey terrible terms I wanna say like 3 years ago, when he got a new girlfriend. When he told me that, I promised myself that I would never speak to him again. We went to the same school so I’d see him all the time on campus or out at bars but I kept my word. HE even tried talking to me once and I kept my word. I never spoke to him again.
Anyways fast forward I am now in an amazingly healthy relationship with a wonderful man who could not be more obsessed with me. I think he’d do anything for me if I asked. I mean anything. And I love him dearly. I’ve never been so loved and accepted and appreciated before. I completely forgot about my ex over the last two years and have been genuinely enjoying my life and my new relationship. I’m so happy with him.
But over the last few weeks I have been having this reoccurring dream about my ex. Where some force of nature (mutual friends party or something) brings us back together and I see him again for the first time in years, and we catch up all night long. I wake up with a visceral reaction from these dreams every morning. They feel so real. On top of these sudden dreams, over the last few weeks about 5 people in my life have mentioned my ex to me in one way or another, when I haven’t spoken to them about him in years.
All of this is sooo weird to me and it’s making me feel crazy. And it’s making me want to hear from him. I just really want to talk to him about everything and let him know I’m not angry anymore!! I wish he would text me or call. But I will never reach out to him first. I’m just worried that I’ll go my whole life without talking to him again and regret it.
Any thoughts from anyone spiritual? I know psychology will tell me that I’m lacking something in my life now that my ex is representing in my dreams, but it all feels a bit too spiritual for me to buy that. Thanks!