I (21F) started dating my ex (22m) in my second year of college, and initially everything was really good. I genuinely loved him. But over the past year, things changed a lot. He became harsh, started blaming me for things going wrong in his life, and would often use hurtful language. We fought frequently, and I was usually the one left crying because I couldn’t handle the way he spoke to me or how insecure he made me feel about myself.
I truly tried my best to support him in every possible way, but whenever he got angry, he would ignore all my efforts. It became emotionally exhausting. So in January, I finally decided to end things and focus on myself. The breakup left me with a lot of insecurities, especially about myself and my body, but I’ve been trying to heal. I’ve come a long way, though sometimes the memories still come back, and I can’t help but think that if things had been different, we could have been a really good couple.
Now, something unexpected happened. In mid-April, a guy (23m) I used to talk to before my ex (22m) reached out to me in cllg. Back when I was my in school, we had a long distance thing going on from 12th grade to my first year of college. He (23m) had confessed when I was in first year of cllg that he liked me, and I said yes. But after months of talking, he suddenly ghosted me. Then he came back, I forgave him, and he did the same thing again. That really broke my trust, and I blocked him.
Now he somehow found me again and reached out on insta even though while we were in long distance thing I didn’t have any insta acc. He says he wants to date me seriously this time. His explanation for ghosting earlier is that he wasn’t settled in his career and felt it was too early for a relationship. Now he says he has a stable job and is ready. He even called me, cried, and promised he wouldn’t repeat his past behavior.
I was quite rude during the conversation because of everything that happened before. I don’t know what to feel or how to react. On one hand, there was a connection, and I did have feelings for him. On the other, he broke my trust twice.
I’m really confused about what I should do.
Like I’m insecure because of my past and at the same time I feel I should move on and date him, as I do have feelings for him (23m) but what he did with me back then makes me step back from things to even start!
Or should I just tell him honestly that I can’t get that thing out of my mind as I can’t forget but can only forgive you for that!?
😭🙏