I know I ask a lot of questions but this hasn’t been sitting with me well since yesterday and I can barely sleep thinking about it or focus at work. I know I have no self esteem. I may never have self esteem. I can almost begrudgingly accept my fate even if I want this “destiny” to be wrong.
But my self doubt was called manipulative and someone in a shared screenwriting group decided to shut… me… out! I’m worried this email will bleed into other members, they’ll assume I’m a bad person and not just someone filled with pain, hurt and yearning. I’m scared. I’m already really bad at conversations small talk and talking or caring about other people when my needs aren’t met but I want to be better.
I don’t know how to feel proud of myself since I think pride is a bad thing as it is often called a sin to believe in yourself. Someone help me understand please and if my tone sounds cruel I’m learning to not apologize but I will say cruelty and crassness aren’t intended.
Thank you for your assistance and I know I post a lot. Growth isn’t gonna come easy after all