So I discovered manifestation back in September and have been manifesting my sp since then. I’ve manifested small things and my current job, but not sp yet. My sp and I are not in contact, but we didn’t end on bad terms. I have no issues thinking in my head that we’re together and he loves me, saying my affirmations, or having inner convos and coming up with scenarios in my head about us being together. There was also a 3p at the time, but I have no idea if she’s still in the picture since I haven’t had contact with sp since August and have completely blocked her existence everywhere.
Long story short, I don’t have issues thinking about us being together, saying affirmations, and ignoring the 3p. But I have trouble not checking the 3D (looking at his insta even tho he’s private), thinking about the time, or circumstances and how it will unfold. I 100% believe we will be together no doubt and it WILL manifest, but I’m having trouble not thinking about the circumstances and wondering what he’s up to.
I also have trouble affirming that I’ve always been loved and chosen because I have a lot of past traumas of being abandoned and not chosen by friends and guys in the past. Due to this, I’m very independent and satisfied with myself and am okay with that. But I obviously do want my sp. I affirm and think things like “sp chooses me and adores me like no one has before.”
I realize most people would say I should shift my identity from someone with these experiences of not being chosen to someone who is always chosen and loved, but I have trouble doing that since my experiences have shaped a lot of who I am and made me very independent and resilient. Since I haven’t experienced love yet, I want my sp to love me even with my past experiences.
Do you think it’s okay to still acknowledge these past experiences happened, while affirming that they don’t define me and aren’t the case anymore? I affirm that my current sp always chooses me and loves me so much and admires me even more bc of what I’ve been through. Or do I need to completely shift and pretend I’ve always had great luck in love?
Sorry for the ramble!