Anyone else feel like the "bitter" one when old toxic NF's try to act "nice"?
I’ve had a bizarre month of run-ins with a former NF that I had a truly toxic exit from. For context, the Dad was verbally abusive (yelled at me in front of the child) and the Mom eventually ghosted me after I reached out about his behavior. It was a mess, and it took me a long time to get over the discard feeling.
Lately, I’ve been seeing the Mom around. She has been "fake -style" nice—smiling brightly, trying to talk to me and ignoring the fact that she ignored my frantic messages a year ago. It makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. If I don't reciprocate her "high-energy" friendliness, I look like the one with the "beef" or the "attitude problem," even though they were the ones who were unprofessional and spoke negatively about me to my current family.
The weirdest part? My current NF’s cleaning lady just told me that this former Mom asked her to babysit. My current MB and this woman are close friends.
I feel like I’m being watched or tested. I gave the cleaning lady a total "blank wall" reaction—no gossip, no anger—but inside, I’m vibrating. It feels so calculated for her to reach into MB's staff knowing our history.
How do you guys handle the "social amnesia" of toxic employers? I’m trying to stay professional, but being the only one who remembers the "truth" makes me feel like the crazy one in the room.