u/DazzlingPut3895

Hello. I am new to this community, but thought I’d join to help myself by sharing my accomplishments. I have always had panic attacks since I was about 19 or 20. I wasn’t feeling myself one day and was smoking weed. It sent me into a life changing perspective. Since then I had stop smoking, lowered the amount of alcohol I take in. Just tried to help myself live a basic life without manipulating my mind or body. I was doing pretty good. Until I started getting light panic attacks or some sort of flashes of anxiety chills. Then around night 5 or 6 days ago, I had some sort of carb overload. Or some combination from the unhealthy diet choices I made that afternoon. Or it could’ve been honestly a combination of physical and mental. Anyway, I had been against medication for as long as I can remember because it made me more anxious that it would “alter my emotions” or something. Couple days passed, and I felt a little back on my game. Then night rolled around one night and I got sent into another episode or whatever it is. Except I didn’t eat anything that should’ve made me react this way. So I went to the ER (3AM) and to my surprise, the doctors and nurses seemed upset that they had to take care of me. Just kept asking if I did any drugs. The dispatcher guy comes in right before I get sent off to leave and says “I’m sorry you’re going through something, but unfortunately this is an ER. We have to take care of more important things. Physical things. There’s nothing we can do for you”. Which personally sounded terrible, but I think he just misworded it. So I went home, fell asleep repeatedly around 4 to 8. Got up, felt off still, and went to the hospital. I then had some tests done like an EKG or whatever it’s called. My physical vitals came back perfect. They said I was healthy with nothing wrong. It was just all mental. Which I usually would say good, but mental issues make me a little nervous, and would prefer a pill or bandaid to be put on. When it’s mental though, you can’t put a bandaid or put some ice on it. So for the first time ever I took a pill for mental health. Hydroxyzine. It was a huge step up from what I have ever tried to do. But I was desperate. Also since I had been losing sleep, not eating, trouble drinking water; they had given me a nausea pill and an IV so I could be hydrated and go home to eat something. This has been a huge change for me lately and just wanted to share how crazy my week was. One biggest thing. I finally slept through the night last night. I did fall asleep at 12 or 1 AM, but the important thing is I only woke up at 6, and fell BACK to sleep until 10. I was just really happy with that. I have just been trying to focus on the little wins so I can bring the old me back. I have had panic attacks, but my recent ones have just be so much worse. It’s hard to talk to some of the people in my life because none of then have anxiety or ever really had a panic attack. So it’s just a lot to deal with since I have no one to talk to about it. Or at least someone who really understands.