u/Dazzling-Disaster133

Why do people have to be so messed up? I loved this human being unlike anyone else, but they had too many issues they weren't willing to work through. They have been blocked for at least a year. I wish we had never dated but I'm still sad in a way that they mean nothing to me now and I want no memory of them in my life anymore. Unfortunately, I still have to go out of my way to avoid going to similar places, but so far so good. I'm hoping to move.

I've had my ex blocked for awhile now via phone, social media, and email. I had saved conversations because they were abusive. Now, I just want to be done.

I didn't see them as a contact, I guess because I blocked them, but found our last text thread by phone number.

I'm hesitating deleting everything for proof, if needed some day). Anything I should consider before deleting everything? If I delete their contact info, will I start seeing them in people you might know kind of thing? I want to think of any consequences before wiping out their existence from my life.

My ex was who I considered the love of my life. They had soooo many of the qualities that I was looking for in a partner. I don't find myself attracted to very many people and they were it. I've dated models previously and still they were it for me. They were really attractive too, just saying our of everyone, even people paid for their looks, they were it for me. But they caused me a lot of emotional scars because of mental health and drinking. They weren't willing to work on themselves.

It's basically a case of a perfect match for me with traits I couldn't tolerate mixed in. But somedays I miss them so much it hurts bad. Its not that I haven't tried moving on. I've liked people since but the connection I felt still hasn't come anywhere close and I'm not sure it ever will.

I almost reached out yesterday. I know they are toxic, but what do you do when you feel like youre missing something you can't find anywhere else? It's so depressing.