Christian Mysticism
Do you ever worry that the quest of becoming or delving deeper into "Christian Mysticism" is actually counter-productive at some point?
I originally strove to be a mystic in Christianity and started praying all day long, some days. Little short prayers for help and intercession with conversations, and gratuitous singing in my mind to God. Also, hundreds of acknowledgments to God.
These days are utterly mind-bendingly wonderful, and I experience divine timing and have the right words come to mind for the right situations.
However, it seems that setting myself apart as a Christian Mystic can breed pride and separation from those who love God too. Over time, I had many days where I looked at the world around me and had thoughts pop up of "Why are they not doing what I am doing?" or "It says plainly in the bible to pray unceasingly."
It appears that as I grow in maturity in Christianity, the ambitious seeking of wanting to be a mystic has turned into just wanting to help others get a closer relationship with Jesus. Which is the goal for a lot of us.
This just makes me a mature Christian and not a mystic, even though I still have mystical experiences.
What are your thoughts?