Buckwheat Tea Update
This is my second post, because after writing it for the first time on my phone, I have accidentally selected 'survey' and all the text disappeared.
Chapter I: Portent
I should not have been doing laundry on such an omnious day. Everything was going wrong. But hey, this is laundry, innit? It's my safe happy place. I'm sure it will work out, right...?
WRONG!!!
I left the shower head to fill up my 40 liter/10 gallon bucket with hot water and went to do something in the kitchen. I returned to an entire bathroom filled with a few centimeters of water spilling to the bedroom. Shower head flipping like a sprinkler was a portent to what would come next.
Using garments to soak up spilled water
Stubbornly I loaded up the garments into a Spa Day solution, read u/KismaiAesthetics posts about laundry catchers and fun stains to sleep and *trusting the process* drifted off to zzzzz
Chapter II: The First Disaster, Buckwheat Tea
Excitement about Rehab Wash kept me up at night, so at 5am I decided to tend to my laundry. Thank Laundry Gods, because that meant less contact time for my poor whites with a dye from the buckwheat pillow.
As u/nomarmite has put it,
>"Buckwheat is commonly used as a natural dye. If that was all you added, you'd be fine. But unfortunately laundry detergents contain metal salts that are chemically similar to the ones used in dyeing to set dyes.
>So you have not only dyed the fabric, you have set the dye."
Oh how can my life get any worse?! Will FEBU reformulation get cancelled?
Chapter III: The Second Disaster, Can't Access Reddit
I left the clothes on the longest 5h wash cycle for their Rehab Wash. I could hear them cry "Nooo, don't leave us!" Well tough life, garments! Momma got to find out how to save you!
But I couldn't. When I tried to open my laptop, it wouldn't cooperate. The thing is, I needed my laptop to work, ASAP. The reason I scheduled a laundry day for today is because after microneedling I MUSTN'T expose my skin to UV rays, so I turn my house into a cave and work out the fibers.
There wasn't much to do, I had to go to the Laptop Repair Man. On the way down, after 2 hours of laundry, I discovered that the washing machine wasn't in fact doing any laundry because I forgot to press the button. Wet garments were just sitting there with ammonia on top. Should have listened to my clothes' vociferous protest earlier.
Anyway, I transformed into a Beduin and hoped that the Laptop Repair Man won't take me for a freak.
Turned out that the Laptop Repair Man didn't know how to do laundry, hence I, the laundry neophyte who after the Buckwheat Tea disaster should just let the enzymes dissolve her from shame, eagerly wrote him instructions while he was fixing my laptop. On reflection, I wonder what's weirder, going around streets of London dressed like an ET going home, or visiting stranger's houses and helping myself to their washing machine and peeking into their detergent dispenser. Interesting fact about the Laptop Repair Man, he was on his 15th kettle because he bins them due to the hard water residue. I told him of Our Lord And Saviour, The Citric Acid.
Chapter IV: Foam
Upon returning home I was greeted by foam. A lot of foam. At this stage I simply decided to ignore any adversity and return to the laundry once it's done.
Finally after a Citric Acid Rinse I anxiously stepped through the foamy floor to the washing machine to inspect my garments and... White, I saw WHITE! With the exception of a different pillow's protector (which to be fair I couldn't get to stay submerged in the Spa Day soak) all my clothes came out perfectly white - linen kitchen towel, cotton polo shirts, two cotton bedsheets with high thread count, and a lot of cotton face towels. With a new buckwheat pillow on the way, I must say I have unexpectedly achieved a stellar success!
Pre-Spa, Buckwheat Tea+Rinse, Rehab Wash, Citric Acid Rinse
Epilogue: What's coming next?
I received heartwarming support from this community and not only that - my concerned American sweetheart told me his parents will send over FEBU to the UK as soon as it comes out.
So tell me, what should happen next? Shall I bask in my enzymatic glory? Or be stoned to death with individual buckwheat grains?