u/Dadcoachteacher

I just had to write by far the stupidest office referral of my career. In the middle class a student who is always being a clown, and is constantly a disruption, starts gagging and spitting. He runs to the trash can like he's going to vomit. Giving him the benefit of the doubt I stop teaching and help him and send him to the nurse with the trash can. Of course I have to call the nurse. Then, 5 minutes later he walks back in and says, "it's okay I'm fine!" really loudly and interrupts the lesson again. He then sits in the back of the room with the trash can spitting and gagging the whole last 10 minutes. It was the end of the day so I just power through the end of the lesson and decide to deal with it after. Bell rings and he sprints out of the room and the building to go home. Another student then asks me, "hey, what would happen if you ate this plant?" Turns out this moron plucked a leaf from the giant ZZ plant growing in my window and ate it. It does not look even remotely edible. It does not smell good. Kids ask if it is even real all the time because it is so rubbery. A quick Google search says that it is mildly toxic and causes intense throat irritation and vomiting. This was a 9th grader. Can't wait for Mom (a known crazy person) to be mad that it is somehow my and the school's fault that her 15 year old is stupid enough to eat part of a houseplant that he knows nothing about.