Hi all, I’ve already read so many hopeful posts about people conceiving after a loss, but I still felt compelled to write my own because there were so many young people in those comments and I’m an older mom! We have our first, who just turned 2 and is an absolute joy, but I am completely stuck on having at least two despite my age.
We have been trying for 9 cycles and were talking to the doctor about and signed up to start IVF this past cycle, but then decided to put it off one more month and then got pregnant naturally. That resulted in a miscarriage that started three days ago. We also had a chemical pregnancy in January (cycle 7 of trying).
I’m annoyed at how the fertility clinics don’t seem to have any individualized care and just stick us in the IVF category because I’m over 40. My cycles have been super regular for years, including since 4 months after giving birth to my daughter. IVF is so expensive and I was also laid off while I was on maternity leave so we’re in those slightly precarious financial situation on top of the trying.
Have you older moms had success in conceiving naturally after a loss (or more than one)? At my age I feel like I’ve grieved quickly because I knew how high my chances were of miscarrying or having bad chromosomal test results so we were cautiously optimistic but not doing any planning until after the tests. But it’s up and down and sometimes I just think it won’t happen for us. I’m also very scared of wasting all that money on IVF and not having that work - I think that would make me feel like it was impossible and we would only be able to afford the one round.
Either way we’re going to try naturally again for a little bit before jumping back into IVF.
Give me your stories and positive vibes!