24F and 24M — Need advice on how to get over someone I deeply loved
So I was best friends with this guy first. He was sexually interested in me and always made me feel special — butterflies, attention, emotional connection, everything. Eventually we started casually dating/situationship type thing.
But over time, I got very emotionally attached. I started treating him like he was my real boyfriend. We worked in the same office and same team, so we spent almost every day together for nearly a year. We had so many good moments. We cared for each other deeply, supported each other emotionally, and there were even times we said “I love you” to each other.
I genuinely fell in love with him.
Then I left that workplace, but I still treated him the same way — always available, loving, caring, emotionally invested. I think he liked the care and emotional support I gave him, but slowly he realized I was getting serious about him. both of us knew we don’t have a future together as he is from a different religion n i have very strict parents..
Then he started getting interested in another girl.
One day I saw him being touchy with her and it really hurt me. When I asked him about it, he told me they were “just friends” but he wanted to explore something casual/physical with her. Eventually he did.
That completely broke my heart because I didn’t even know he was interested in someone else. I felt betrayed. Not just because of the situationship, but because he was also my best friend.
I tried distancing myself after finding out, but he didn’t want to lose the friendship. He was okay being physically connected with both of us at the same time, but I love him too much to handle seeing him with someone else. I had alot if fights n conversations with him about this he says he can’t hurt me anymore so he only wants me to satisfy me physically if i ever want n nothing more.
The problem is… I’m still emotionally attached to him. We still talk, and sometimes we still have intimate moments because the chemistry between us is strong. I feel drawn to him all the time and I genuinely don’t know how to remove him from my life.
I keep hoping he’ll love me the way I love him.
Seeing him change and move on so quickly hurts so much. Part of me blames myself too because technically it started casually, but I didn’t plan to fall in love — it just happened.
I did try blocking him and cutting contact, but the problem is I still had his number memorized/saved somewhere, so I ended up unblocking him like 3 different times.
Every time I miss him emotionally, I convince myself maybe this time things will feel okay again. But the second we talk, I get attached all over again. Then I remember he still doesn’t want anything serious with me, and I end up hurt again.
I think part of me is addicted to the comfort, chemistry, and emotional connection we had. He was my best friend too, so losing him feels like losing both a partner and a safe person at the same time.
What hurts the most is that he can casually move forward and still keep me in his life, while I can’t seem to emotionally separate love from attachment.
Has anyone else struggled with repeatedly breaking no-contact? How did you finally stop going back?
How do I stop begging him to stay emotionally?How do I detach from someone I love this deeply?And how do I heal when I still want him in my life so badly?