Located in KCMO, Jackson County.
I've made a lot of dumb decisions. I lost my father 11 years ago, and I started buying things to cover the pain.
More things went "wrong" with my life.
So I bought more things to cover it. It's like a lyric from Type O Negative - "painting over dirt".
I have reached the end of my rope. I'm thinking that instead of fighting... it's time to just declare bankruptcy.
But I *need* to keep my house. If I lose my house, I lose more than everything combined. Marriage, life, etc.
I suppose I am looking for support. I'm terrified. I'm autistic. I have a good job on the railroad, 13 years of being there and Union. I have horrible anxiety and depression. And this whole debt situation has ruined me horribly, health wise.
I think it's time to stop fighting.
So if I KNOW I'm going to file... do I turn off automatic payments on non-secured debts and ignore any phonecalls/etc and not tell them I'm looking to file?
My parents filed Chapter 7 when I was a kid - lost the house, everything etc but I don't know the specifics as my father is passed and my relationship with my mom is uuuh strained.
Even if it costs me everything good in my life - I think all my mistakes have lead me here. And it's time to just accept that.
Maybe bankruptcy will be the thing to lift this weight from my shoulders.
I have a house. 247k remaining. Solar panel system, 72k left. Credit card and loan debt - about 80k. Collapsing credit card debt into one loan again and again. I've finally hit the limit.
I'm terrified. Can I keep the house and solar as is, and bankruptcy the rest?
But also there's this sense of... lightness? Thinking about bankruptcy. It won't fix me - that's for therapy, coming soon(TM) - but I am still absolutely terrified. Will I lose all the things I have? Will I have to justify every single purchase on my bank statement for years? I've had to take cash advances to make it month to month at times.
I hope I don't break rules here. I suppose I'm looking for reassurance that this is what is best for me, regardless of how I feel etc.