u/CurvyBlonde_96

I had a positive test yesterday, and I’ve taken three tests since, one invalid and two negative.

I absolutely do not want a baby right now. Financially I am not prepared, me and my boyfriend are just about planning to move in together from September and I’m starting a new job soon. I also want to spend more time with my boyfriend and make more memories with him - not to mention he already has a young son.

Why do I feel so sad? I didn’t want a baby. When I got the faint line I panicked and called my boyfriend saying I think I’m pregnant and I cried asking what we were going to do…

If it did happen, we would have aborted it (just for reference my boyfriend said he would never force me into that, but we are too early in our relationship for a child).

I don’t know if it’s because it made me wonder if he ever would want a child with me? Although he said when the time comes and we decide we want a child we will do everything to make it happen, or if it’s because at least if I was pregnant, I would know I could get pregnant without having to go through IVF like I’ve been told my entire life.

Has anyone else felt like this? I’ve just been in a deep hole ever since yesterday. I also wished I didn’t panic and called my boyfriend straight away.

If you have felt like this, what did you pin point as the issue?

One of the girls at work today told me she has a feeling I’m pregnant (just so you know we don’t live remotely close and work in different offices, so it’s not like I looked different). I told her I have fertility issues and I’m not pregnant, but she insisted that if I’m not pregnant I will be in the next six months and that me and my boyfriend need to start trying 6 months into us moving in together (later this year hopefully) and kept pushing it. It upset me quite a bit but I have been feeling really nauseated lately so it played on my mind and I did a test.

It came up with two lines. I screamed for my friend and she confirmed there were two lines although faint.

I panicked and called my boyfriend (he was way calmer than me) and I was crying saying I might be pregnant. It’s not that I don’t want to be a mum as I do, it would just be the absolute worst time and I’ve never once fell pregnant before, even when I was with my ex of 5 years.

I’ve done two tests since, one being a clear blue and they both say I’m not pregnant. Instead of feeling relieved I feel sad? And now my boyfriend wants to use condoms (understandable I guess) so there’s no pregnancy scares.

It’s 100% not the right time. I’m starting a new job, we need to move in together first, but I guess part of me hoped it was true because it meant I could actually get pregnant, even if we decided that the baby isn’t what we wanted right now.