ROUGH
Even inside, the smoke infiltrated and greased everything grey, my skin included. Cold handcuffs bolted my hands down.
The repatriated Mountie entered the interrogation room, sat down at the metal desk and punched the top of the salvaged taxi meter.
$0.01
“So… take as long as you want, it’s your dime, Mr…” he trailed off, scanning a yellowed document in front of him.
$0.42
“…Mr. Richards.”
“Can I have a cigarette?” I muttered.
“Sure. You fine with the upcharge?” Again, he looked down at the slick sheet that resembled something like fly trap paper, wiping some of the oil and stuck flies off it. Freed, the ones still alive buzzed into the air. The officer’s eyes landed on something, and he chuckled. “There’s an installment plan.”
$0.73
“Yeah…”
“On it. Anyway, rough day? Walk me through it from the top.”
$1.27
Rough… I thought.
“We live in one of those buildings with a centralized incinerator. You know the ones. Smack dab in the middle of the building so that everyone can throw their trash in it. It keeps the place warm and the building powered. The landlord still charges for electricity. The biggest downside is that it makes the whole place smell like a landfill in the summer.
“Anyway, some of the runoff had been leaking above the bed. Which is fine, but it was leaking onto the Tupperware with my savings. The meagre $1.73 that I managed to save each day had grown to $4421. The money was supposed to be the start of an RESP for Ollie. So he could escape the shit. I moved it out from under the bed and onto the small milk crate side table that held the one picture of my wife, so it didn't get wet during the day. I was already late, and the KidWatch guy wasn’t here yet.
“Finally, the guy shows up seven minutes late. Bald dude with a Santa beard, but not in a merry sort of way. He didn’t look happy to be there, but that’s better than the ones gleeful about watching.
“I said, ‘Hey man, you’re late,’ and all I got was a middle finger. Then he was setting up his cameras. Apparently, the official reason the company required it was to protect against lawsuits, but they also sell the data. I got a bit of that money, so it helped.
“I told the sitter that the breakfast food delivery had arrived, tossed on the coat and made for the door. Then did a quick swivel mid-step to grab a pack of cigarettes in the ashtray. Then, one more swivel to kiss Ollie on the head.
“The woods outside of Peterborough were still burning. Flames that rose high into the sky and plumes of black smoke that blocked it. Two coy-dogs were fighting over a dead raccoon, and a line of kids were walking to school, each with one of the good respirators so they didn't breathe in any carcinogenic filth. I pulled up my little surgical mask leftover from the most recent pandemic and hopped on my bike, and got to work.
“I do SerfItUp, a free-for-all food-delivery app where the first person to the delivery gets the payout. Little payouts, only $1.54 or $0.87 each. I had just gotten done delivering what might have been Coke to teenagers when a new order came in.
“The address was a nice neighbourhood, something my wife and I would have settled in, which meant big money. $11.92. Immediately, I was on my bike, pumping it to the fast-food. And by God, I was first. I snatched the parcel from the counter and got back on the road. I was a kilometre away when this rusted Toyota flew past me, window open, stuck with a SerfItUp driver sticker. Then an arm outstretched from it, I heard a bang and a ‘Bitch!’.
“Cheese-grater asphalt tore against my skin, peeling layers of me off like a potato. I skidded to a stop a couple of metres after. My kneecap was shattered by a bullet.”
“My phone chimed. The five-minute late fee. -$5.00
“So, I got back on my bike and just started ripping it. Each turn of the pedal, what’s left of my kneecap ground itself more into dust. But I needed this; you don't get this lucky ever. I ended up making the delivery two fees later. $1.92
“I limped back to the apartment, stained with blood. Soon as I did, the sitter started to pack up the cameras and passed me his phone to choose the tip percentage. I did the minimum, and he muttered some swear under his breath. Then, Ollie came running to me, big smile from ear to ear. So, I mustered a smile and asked what's up. ‘I got a surprise, Daddy! It’ll make you happy!’ he went. Then he led me down the hall to his bedroom. I heard something inside, ripping up the carpet and barking. A second later, Ollie opened the door, and a coy-dog bolted out of the room.
“‘Why is it in the house?!’ I shouted. And innocent as ever, he turned to me, ‘I bought a doggy from the sitter!’
“I sprinted to my bedroom and lo and behold, the Tupperware was empty. Seven years of savings, gone.
“I yelled at him, and he started to cry. Really cry.
“With the crying, a memory popped into my head. Ollie’s birth when my wife was still… the doctor handed the little crying kid to her, and he cracked a smile. ‘No Refunds on this one!’ he said. I laughed at that.
“Then I was back in my apartment, Ollie sobbing. ‘No refunds. No refunds,’ I muttered under my breath. The sitter was long gone, and it was just us in that grungy apartment. Coy-dog snarling and Ollie sobbing.”
“And that’s why you’re here,” The officer said, frowning. He tapped the meter, stopping the running fee.
$324.95