Six years of complete isolation taught me something I couldn’t have learned any other way
I moved from Iraq to the UK at 13 and spent the next six years almost completely alone.
No friends. Couldn't speak the language. Couldn't keep up academically. I watched everyone around me become themselves while I felt like I was slowly being erased.
What I didn't expect was what that level of isolation would build in me on the other side of it.
I stopped needing external validation to feel okay about myself. Not because I became cold or indifferent, but because I had spent so long alone that I had, without meaning to, become very good at my own company. My self worth stopped depending on whether people showed up for me.
The thing loneliness taught me that nothing else could: there is a difference between a support system you cherish and a support system you require. I have wonderful people in my life now. But if they all disappeared tomorrow, I would still be okay. Actually okay.
If you have ever been through a period of real, prolonged isolation, the kind that strips you down to nothing, I think you probably know what I mean.
I wrote a longer personal essay about this if anyone wants to read the full thing. Happy to share the link in the comments.