A Fragrant Night
A post I had made to InsideMollywood a few years back. Reposting it here for the new audience.
Disclaimer: This is a fictional story. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. Readers are responsible for their respective interpretations. ഇതൊരു സാങ്കൽപ്പിക കഥയാണ്. ജീവിച്ചിരിക്കുന്നതോ മരിച്ചതോ ആയ എതെങ്കിലും വ്യക്തിയുമായി സാദൃശ്യം തോന്നുന്നുണ്ടെങ്കിൽ അത് തികച്ചും യാദൃശ്ചികം മാത്രമാണ്. വായനക്കാരുടെ വ്യാഖ്യാനങ്ങൾക്ക് വായനക്കാർ ഉത്തരവാദികൾ. 😉
~
A story narrated to me many many years ago by someone I know very well. Let's call him V.
V was, at the time, working for a reasonably big business firm that dealt with construction and engineering. They also had business interests outside India, and Malaysia was one of the countries where they had a few clients from. He was in charge of sales and customer relations for all of their South East Asian clients. Written rule was "keep the customers happy"; unwritten was "no matter what it takes!". Schmoozing, therefore, was very much a part of his job profile.
The Malaysian company's representatives often made India visits, especially during contract negotiations/renewals. Hosting them and keeping them happy during these visits was vital, as one might imagine. It was always the same two (native Malay) guys who visited on their behalf (let's call them Senior and Junior) and it was always V who tended to them. And boy did he do it well. They were always put up in the best of hotels and resorts; taken to the swankiest of restaurants, and shown a good time, on the whole. The three of them had gotten quite friendly with each other during the course of these visits.
It was during one of these wine and dines in Chennai then, that these esteemed guests made a request to V, much to his utter shock and disbelief.
"Fragrance". It was Junior who spoke up.
"Sorry?" V asked.
"Fragrance. Do you know her?"
"Who? The actress!?"
"Yes. The actress. Do you know her?!"
Of course he knew her! Who hadn't heard of Fragrance or seen her movies?
"Of course I know her. Who hasn't heard of Fragrance or seen her movies!" V responded.
"Good. Well, we would like to spend a night with her." It was Senior this time, with a matter-of-factness that would have made Balan K Nair proud.
V emptied his large whiskey quickly. Nope. The bad taste remained.
"Can you arrange?"
A second peg was downed in quick succession.
"Ummm...."
They wanted a night with Fragrance, the actress! They had gotten to know (of) her through their Malay Tamil friends, what with her being this huge star in the South and all that. They were smitten. And apparently, she was 'available'. For a hefty price (they knew the amount), of course. They had done their homework. V was both disgusted and impressed. More latter than the former, if you were to ask him after a couple of drinks.
Now, V came from an affluent family, his dad being a rich businessman and all that. He had all the right (and some wrong) connections and was no stranger to the goings on in the movie industry. That said, Fragrance's foray into this line of business was news to him. Also, he hadn't done anything like this before. I mean, doing whatever it takes to keep one's client happy is one thing. But pimping for them!? Now that's a whole new low altogether! What about one's ethics, morals, dignity?
...
Well, the moral dilemma lasted all of three micro seconds.
"I will arrange," V said. The new contracts were on the line for God's sake!
He quickly got into action and started ringing up his contacts. Sure enough, the Malay dignitaries were spot on. About it all. The 'availability', the amount, right to the last paisa. "Goal-oriented and efficient horny bastards!" He thought.
"But the company cannot make this payment from our accounts." V raised a logistical concern. "I mean, I can ask one of my local vendors to pay for now. We'll settle it with them later as part of our ongoing deals". A standard solution for all such non-standard payments.
"No no!! We cannot allow that!" Asserted Senior. "These are our personal indulgences and we will pay for this ourselves!"
What stand-up guys! Admired V, as he proceeded to make the final arrangements.
And final arrangements, he did make. Conditions were as follows:
- Amount to be paid in full and in advance to a 3rd party
- 5-star hotel in Chennai
- 3 adjacent rooms towards the end of a corridor
- Half an hour max, each
- All business to be settled before 10 in the night
- Fragrance will stay put in her room. Each of the aficionados will have to go in one after the other, with at least a 15-minute gap in between
V was in charge of roaming around the halls to alert "Clear" for covert entries and exits. ('In Harihar Nagar'-ile "Whistle adicha mathi, whistle" duty)
Senior went in first. V's anxiety knew no bounds. He had seen police raids happening in movies. And it was always the innocent who got caught. Does the receptionist know? Will he inform the police? Will the proverbial shit hit the overspeeding fan?
He took the full half an hour. "Senior alle. Kaashu muthalakkum. Thrifty bugger!" V thought. Did he look a little miffed as he got out of the room? Who cares! Police varumo entho! 15-minute break, as scheduled. Junior went in next. V's heart-rate hit a career-high. Each second one of his clients was in her room felt like a millennium to him. Perhaps this is what Einstein meant with all that relativity nonsense. V paced around the corridor failing pathetically at looking casual. Finally, after 20 excruciatingly long minutes, Junior emerged. All done. Phew! V heaved a deep sigh of cosmic relief.
V met with Junior, who seemed the happier of the two, bid him goodbye, and arranged for all three of them to meet up over drinks at the hotel bar the next day. Feigned as a goodbye dinner (they were flying back a day later), but in reality a 'feedback' session to quench his own thirst for tea.
The next night. Bar at the hotel.
Senior didn't seem too happy, V observed. Junior was indifferent.
Drinks were ordered. Silence. Drinks were brought. Subdued cheers. Drinks were consumed. Long silence.
"V, thanks for arranging this." Senior broke it.
V gestured, "Ithokke enthu". True blue Mallu.
"But you know, it's not what I expected." Senior got right into V's agenda for the night, to his pleasant surprise.
"How come?"
"It's not what it's made out to be. It was like..., like she wasn't into it."
"I mean...", V started to interject, seeming to understand her lack of enthusiasm.
"Like, at all! There was no connection. It all seemed very...., very transactional. Very... bland".
Silence. All three of them took a sip from their respective wine glasses.
Connection? What sort of connection was he looking for? They weren't exactly Romeo and Juliet!
"Hmm..." V solaced.
"I entered (the room) and she was just lying there, naked, reading a book or something. No 'hi' or 'hello'. Nothing. Not even a smile." Senior continued, even before V could dig deeper.
Junior nodded vigorously.
"You know what the first thing she told me was?"
"What!?"
"'Go take a shower'!"
"Go..take..a..shower...!?"
"Yes! 'Go.Take.A.Shower!' Can you imagine!? I mean..., had she taken a shower? How do I know if she had? What about before Junior went in? Did she take a shower before that!?"
Silence.
"I think she did you know" Junior chimed in, much to his Senior's chagrin. "But I had to take a shower as well." He quickly added, noticing the increasing exasperation on Senior's face. "And yes, very transactional. Bland is not the word."
Silence. Senior obviously seemed the more displeased one.
"Customer service is everything! We know that right? Us, corporate guys? Look at you! You are one of the best at making your customers happy."
V had mixed feelings about that compliment.
"Why provide a service if you cannot satisfy your customers!?"
V almost spat out his last sip of wine. Satisfy. Satisfy? V recollected the respective timings of the dynamic duo. Why, yes! Senior's full 30 minutes! Amitabh Bachchan's KBC voice resounded in his head: "Us ghanti ka yeh matlab hai hi aaj ka khel yahi samaapt karna padega! Shubh ratri! Shabba Khair!"
Silence.
Junior who wasn't making eye contact with anyone up till then, looked up at his senior with kind, understanding, eyes. Was there a tinge of pity as well?
V didn't know what to say. Or think. What did (or did not) happen in the room? What went on for 30 minutes? Will the movie have a sequel? No one knows. Except Senior himself.
V stood up, his wine glass in hand, and walked up to the window.
"Indeed Boss." V took a sip, looked at the city night skyline, and his life choices, and sighed. "What has become of customer service these days".
...
The contract was renewed that year.
~ The End ~