(Going to post this on throwaway account because I’m a little embarrassed)
I *think* I have been catfished but still not 100% sure.
Basically, I’m currently going through a separation in my marriage. The other day this guy on TikTok slid into my DMs. He had a normal looking profile, normal amount of followers. Fair amount of posts, but only photos- no videos. Single dad supposedly of 3 kids. Originally from Netherlands but now US citizen who has a good job and travels for work. We began chatting, and he seemed so genuine and interested in me. The kindest, open, most caring person I feel like I’ve ever met and we really hit it off. We talked for 48 hours straight.
Nothing suggestive, etc. Just a genuine friendship and was starting to get a little romantic.
A couple red flags though: some small details didn’t add up, and some small discrepancies. Once, he said his youngest kid was 3, and another time he said 4. He was also “working on a military base”. He did ask me to download a messaging app (Signal) to continue communicating off TikTok which was odd.
And sometimes, his stories about his life were so descriptive and sounding a little too good to be true. I thought maybe he was just a really good writer/storyteller. He did always have quick, thoughtful and well-written replies while chatting.
Anyways i really started to open up to him and i was falling for his personality. If i could create a perfect person for me, it would be this guy.
Day 3, he happily agreed to “face time” (through the signal app.) I was excited, because I thought maybe that would ease my mind. I thought I was just overthinking everything.
Here was the biggest red flag. It looked like him on video, talking— matched the photos he sent, but the voice didn’t fully match. It was glitchy and his accent sounded off. Slightly more like African than European, as he claimed his background was. Hard to tell though because the conversation was quick. I wish I recorded it, looking back. I wasn’t fully paying attention (I was running outside to answer the call and not looking at the screen the whole time.) So now I’m still second guessing myself, thinking maybe I was being paranoid.
After the video call, I told him I was suspicious. I asked him to send a selfie giving a peace sign. He produced a photo that actually looks legit. It took him several minutes to reply with the picture though. I still had a strange feeling so I accused him of catfishing, using AI. He told me he wasn’t interested in speaking with me anymore. Haven’t heard from him since.
Why do I feel like I made a mistake? Am I just emotionally vulnerable and he took advantage of that? Let me know if his story sounds anything like a typical scam or not. Also, what could his motivation have been ? He didn’t ask for any money, etc. Just seemed like he genuinely cared and was hoping to meet someone, and we happened to click.
(Also - IF this was a true scammer or catfish… be careful out there! I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent person but his story and photos were GOOD. He was even able to pull off FaceTime… somewhat, and provide a realistic photo on cue.)