AITA for trying to avoid my best friend?
Me and my best friend Amy (not her real name) have been inseparable since high school. She was more than just a friend to me . she was family. We survived the worst years of our lives together. I watched her cry, break down, and struggle through things nobody should ever go through. And every single time, I stayed.
I stayed when her family hurt her.
I stayed when she felt alone.
I stayed when her eating disorder got so bad that I was terrified she would hurt herself.
I stayed when she needed someone to hold her while she cried.
I gave her food when she wouldn’t eat.
I answered every late night call.
I was there through everything.
And I never once complained about it, because I loved her like a sister.
Then we both got boyfriends.
At first everything was normal. We still talked, still laughed, still had our usual girl talks. But slowly…every conversation became about him. Every single one. I could be talking about my day, my feelings, literally anything, and somehow it always went back to her boyfriend.
What made it worse was how badly he treated her.
He controlled her phone.
She gave him access to her Instagram.
He blocked her friends.
He told her what she could and couldn’t wear.
And every time I tried to tell her that none of that was okay, she defended him.
Every. Single. Time.
I tried being gentle.
I tried being supportive.
I tried being honest.
I even tried being harsh because I was scared for her.
But she never listened.
Then she moved in with him, and after that it felt like I was losing her more and more every day.
Whenever I asked her to hang out, she’d agree at first…then suddenly cancel last minute.
“Oh I can’t, I’m with my boyfriend.”
“Sorry, my man needs me.”
“I have to do something with him.”
Over and over and over again.
But the second I wanted to spend time with MY boyfriend, suddenly she’d get upset and ask “Why don’t you wanna hang out with me anymore?”
And honestly? That hurt me so badly because she never realized she’d been doing the exact same thing to me for months.
But nothing hurt more than the day she looked at me and said “My man has always been there for me through my hardest times.”
I swear those words shattered something inside me.
Because where was he when she was crying in my arms?
Where was he when I was helping her escape her abusive household?
Where was he when she wouldn’t eat and I was begging her to take care of herself?
Where was he during all the nights I stayed awake making sure she was okay?
I was there.
I was ALWAYS there.
And now it feels like I’ve been completely replaced by a guy who treats her LIKE FUCKING SHIT!!.
I hate admitting it, but I’m exhausted.
I’m angry.
I’m hurt.
And I’m tired of feeling like I’m fighting for someone who keeps choosing someone else over herself… and over me.
So I started pulling away.
I stopped answering her messages.
I ignored the reels she sends me.
I stopped picking up phone calls.
Not because I stopped loving her.
But because I genuinely don’t know how much more heartbreak I can take watching someone I care about destroy themselves for someone who doesn’t deserve them.
My boyfriend told me he understands why I made this decision, and honestly, I think deep down I just hope one day she wakes up and realizes I was never trying to control her , I was trying to save her.
But until then…I just feel disappointed, abandoned, and heartbroken.