Had a chat with my family
Hello , I’m a 18y.o Pimo still living with my parents who r reg pioneer and my dad a elder me and my sister are reg pioneer as well . I was talking with my sister a heart to heart conversation. Then we got into talking about our beliefs ( she said she noticed I was feeling off at meetings ) I usually lie and say like it’s nothing however for some reason I didn’t really care and told her some of my opinions towards being a jw . Things got a bit loud and my mom heard and we went over to talk to her about what I’ve been saying . Usually I would be very nervous to talk about things like this , genuinely I’ve been a textbook JW , exemplary and I haven’t really done anything that would get me into the elders room and what not all to make my parents proud . However today the shame and fear of disappointment I felt left and i expressed myself . I never admitted I about having seen lies by apostates (I’ve been lurking here for a while now and seen some interesting sources ) however I did say I’ve been having doubts on the organization. It went how you’d think it’d go and I ended it saying maybe we should discuss it tmrw because my dad wasn’t here and also it was getting late . I got two things from this however
- In some way the borg really is dying or having less impact because everyone In the room agreed the meetings were boring and that that they have had doubts and I think my family is/was very pimi so it must mean smth .
- My parents very unlikely r going to leave the truth . Because of the hope they have of seeing loved ones and having eternal life (they’ve lost some ppl they really cared about) that’s the reality of some people I’m guessing no matter how bad it is , they will stay solely for the hope . The truth promises something and this doesn’t allow people to heal and learn to accept losses and cope and grieve and move on .
I probably shouldn’t have done that , I slipped up and I don’t know where this will get me maybe no where . Maybe I slip up again but a part of me is tired of everything about the truth , Id rather face the consequences . thx for reading , I love this Reddit page . Wish me luck moving forward w my situation !