u/CorrosiveYolk

My surgery is Monday. And now I have to cancel.

My husband, child and I live in this house that we rented from his grandfather. He passed and we have first right if refusal. My MIL offered to help us with a down payment to take the house and continue to live here. My baby took her first steps here, we've grown as a family here. We were so happy to have the opportunity to own.

Today, my MIL stopped me in the driveway after picking up my kid. Side note, I'm a former addict six years sober.

She went on a tirade saying I was an addict trying to find a quick fix to my problems, that I'll regain the weight, that im obviously not prioritizing the house over my needs. She said that I was being conned by the medical system for a surgery that didnt work.

I reminded her I'm not paying for surgery, its covered. I said having a place to live for my family is a top priority. We didnt even know we could land the house until last week.

I came home and we received an email from his mother. Basically it said that if I didnt pull out of surgery that they dont feel comfortable entering into financial partnership with us and would pull out of the payment, resulting in us losing the house. She said I'm being selfish and not thinking of my family's well being first, that it's a lot for my husband to take on, that I'll be mentally unstable after.

Our lease is up in June. It's either stay and give in or pack up and move and I can't do the latter while recovering. Thus I'm faced with no choice but to cancel. She went on to say hurtful things but ill negate to get into that.

Im devastated. I worked for 9 months to come to this point and im forced to push it back. Im going to reschedule and push it back three months until we figure out where we're going. But I was so close. And I dont know what testing I'll have to redo.

This fucking sucks.

TLDR: My mother in law is holding us hostage and threatening to pull out financially so we lose our house if I go through with surgery. Can only stay or be out by June. Forced to cancel Mondays procedure.

Week two of my pre-op diet; keto flu has passed, I'm following the clear liquid diet strictly, I got all my paperwork together, surgery is a week away.

Last night my husband sat down and discussed his fears about my procedure.

"You've lost 10 pounds in a week and you're showing that you can do a diet"

"You've lost weight before, with intermittent fasting, that worked, why not do it again?"

"This is a permanent change that you can never go back from, are you sure?"

"What if you gain weight back after your sleeve, you'll have done all this for nothing" with that last point he brings up his brother and aunt who both had the sleeve done and have regained weight, which does make me nervous.

He then talked to be about how he's not helped by enabled my eating habits for all these years by generally eating junk around me (he doesn't gain weight) or agreeing to get late night orders and things of that nature. He promised that if I reconsidered surgery he would support me by eating better and helping me achieve my goals. Also, he mentioned I'm 'not that big' that yes, I could lose weight but I'm nearly 6 foot and it's distributed in a way that I'm not comparably 'obese' compared to other women.

I heard everything he said and acknowleged it; he's valid in his anxiety. However, during my diets in the past he wasn't changing anything about his habits to fit mine and I've just endured resisting eating junk food. I'm skeptical that this will change.

He's a loving, wonderful husband. He's just scared for me. He said no matter what I choose, he will support me 1000% .

But he's got me questioning this again. I don't want to back out for the second time; I want the surgery to feel fullness and restrict my portions and manage my weight. Granted I'm literally on the 40 BMI line with no comorbidities.

All I can say is if I had a change I'd eat a hunkering, big meal right now. And that needs to change.

I've yo-yo'd my whole life. I feel need the restriction and I need the drastic change to change myself. That's what drove me to seek the sleeve in the first place.

Guess I'm looking for support, experiences, results (which I see daily on this sub and it's inspiring) -- also just looking to write out to people that could understand.