I think my bsf/moh is planning to ruin my wedding
Hey guys, made a new account so my people don’t see this. These names aren’t their actual names by the way—for privacy purposes!
This is all a mess and I’m very confused, so naturally I turned to Reddit to help solve my problems :)
For context, me (f, 25) and my boyfriend Alex (m, 26) have been together for 3 years, coming up on 4 as we’re getting married on our 4th anniversary. We met in my second year of college and have lived together for about a year now.
We got engaged 8 months ago and our wedding is coming up in the next month. But, things have gotten weird with my best friend and maid of honour lately, and I can’t help but worry if something is up.
My best friend and MOH, Kayla (f, 25) have been friends since we were 13 years old as we were neighbours. We also went to the same college and at first were studying nursing when she switched her major to teaching 2 years ago.
Ever since she’s been acting different like something changed, but besides that she’s still my best friend and we’ve stayed that way all this time.
About four months ago, she broke up with her boyfriend Sam (m, 25) of 4 years because she said he was cheating on her. I have known her boyfriend longer that she has and even though I’m not very close with him, I know he’s a sweet guy. But she’s my bestie and a girls gotta be there for her no matter what. I took her side.
After the breakup she began the usual brokenhearted frenzy of remembering what they could’ve had if he hadn’t cheated and wishing they were back together.
She would guilt trip me that I was getting married and sigh whenever she was helping me with plans. She would say “oh, those are the thank you cards I would’ve picked if me and Sam were still together” and “I wish I got a ring from Sam.”
Two months ago, at a dinner party (a late celebration of my engagement with Alex) that my bridal party planned, I was sat next to Alex and on the other side Kayla, when she literally TRIED TO TRY ON MY RING. Then she would sigh after my dad’s toast and say “I wish I was with someone committed like Alex.”
Like, yeah I wish that for you too, but that’s an odd thing to say next to your engaged friend at HER engagement dinner. I was baffled but ignored it because obviously she was going through a breakup and everyone grieves differently.
A month ago (2 months before the big day) my best friend came over to my and Alex’s apartment for dinner (we made homemade sushi) and she said “By the way, can I bring back my maid of honour dress and wear this one? I don’t want to look like another bridesmaid.” Then she continued to show me a picture on her phone of a WHITE DRESS.
I told her no, she’s not wearing that and I already bought her a dress to wear (it’s purple and she loves purple). She replied with “it’s off white” and I told her “you aren’t wearing that.” My fiancée tried to calm me down as, yes, I was about to explode, but she then she said “so you’re allowed to get married and I’m not?”
I was shocked and went dead silent. I went into my room and my fiancée told her to leave.
We haven’t talked in the last couple of weeks. Part of me wants to still have her as my MOH (our long term friendship and the fact she literally helped plan my wedding) but I don’t even know if she’s still coming and I don’t want her to show up in a white dress!
Obviously I’ve helped her through this breakup, but things have gotten out of hand now and I’m busy planning my wedding. I need my maid of honour to step up. What do I do?