u/Correct-Parsley-6369

I literally can't remember my friends name today. I talk with her multiple times a week. I can't look her up in my contacts or on social media because I don't remember which one is her. I used to be so clever, so sharp. But when I explain this to loved ones they just get concerned that I'm calling myself stupid. No, I'm not! I know I'm not stupid but my brain literally DOESNT WORK ANYMORE. I was going to go to trade school! I graduated top class in high school! And now... It's like my mind has weathered down into sand.

I love her. Why can't I remember her.

I'm only 30. I thought I would have more time to have a good mind. I feel like I wasted my good days.

Anyone else mourning that sex is a lot less often and/or the mental debilitation that comes with having a body that can't handle normal sex anymore?

Ever since my body decided to go kaput, sex is practically non existent. It's gotten to the point where if the situation were to arise I would feel too shitty about my body to proceed.

And then there's the fear of not being attractive to my partner that way anymore. Like maybe my partner is scared to break me, or my body is deformed enough to not be fun to my partner anymore.

Jumping between my body not being able to handle the intensity of sex and my partner feeling more like a caretaker than a lover, I miss intimacy. A lot.

Does anyone have any tips on how to feel better in this department? (Masturbation just makes me more depressed now.) Has anyone figured out how to still fulfill that part of their lives?

It makes me feel so lonely physically, especially since one of my higher love languages is physical touch.