that I dont look at you anymore? That every time my eyes try to go against my will, and drift your way, I force them back to focusing on anything else around me? That I can look at everyone else, make eye contact with everyone else except you?
Although my desire to have you has faded into something more controllable, I still can't shake it fully. It's probably because I can feel you looking at me, I see you catching Glances from the corner of my eye. Knowing it's not all in my head keeps the tension alive.
I don't imagine a future with you, my mind never goes that far, it stops at the thought of feeling you inside of me, and doing everything I can to please you. I'll stop that line of thought, because it's too much to convey in writing.
I don't know where this animalistic urge comes from, I've never felt this way towards someone I couldn't have. When you get too close to me, my head starts spinning, it's so intense. I avoid you, bc there's almost no place less appropriate for what you make me feel.
The fact that I would've done anything just to feel you, scares me, as it should. Hopefully these feelings will disappear completely, through avoidance and seeing you less. At the same time, I know if you pushed forward, I'd cave in an instant, any time any place. Ugh, I need to figure out how to stop the intrusive thought that is...you.