It is about a female patient (who is going to be a stay at home mom) having trouble with her body, taking place in the 1950's. It was not easy to access women doctors, since it was still really hard for women to do much in society. Let me know your thoughts!
The dimly lit lamp on my side of the bed glows a sickly tinted yellow. It irritates me, and I’ve begged for us to change it out; no light would be better. It is the kind of yellow your teeth would turn if not taken care of, or maybe a carton of milk that has sat there untouched far too long. I wish our room could be bright as if the sun itself had come to visit. A bedroom should be a haven for the poor souls that rest in it. My bed may wrap its arms around me like a hug from my mother, but the yellow only makes it stuffy in here.
It is just one of those nights where you are laying while staring at the ceiling hoping something, anything will happen. At least, a hope that something good will happen.
Then, the sunlight I desire comes into the bedroom and lays down next to me. Tom rests his head onto my shoulder, a hand rubbing my stomach soothingly, and stares at the ceiling alongside me. We make small talk, the usual husband-wife chats, until I decide to drop the bad news that has been wrapped around my neck for quite a while. I felt that the ceiling stared back at me and saw the fire burning my insides.
“I have issues down there,” I stated while changing my stare from the ceiling to Tom’s resting head.
“Hm? Ya mean down there?”
“Yes, Tom.”
“Ya sure? I mean I talked to Andrew- y’know, one of my good buddies, and he said his wife also started to hurt when she was coming closer to the due date.”
“I can’t tell you what is going on, but it sure is not normal. I need to go to the doctor. It couldn’t possibly be good for me, or the baby. I mean my crotch and my stomach are aching painfully,” I told him with a bit of sass.
“Laurie, I don’t want the boys at work to go saying I sleep with a tramp if ya go. I’m just telling ya’ that you can’t go around to any ol’ doctor and show ‘em your parts! It can’t be our usual doc, can’t we find ya a woman?”
“Why do you have to tell those foolish idiots at work about our issues? It is my personal health... not just something to be passed around! If you really cared ‘bout me Tom, you would shut your trap and man up. You know that the nearest woman doctor is 75 miles from here! Are you going to drive me there?”
Tom doesn’t understand. I am in pain and have no need to travel such a distance just so he can protect his pride and dignity. What about mine? I’ve been carrying this baby for the past 8 and a half months and all he had to do was go to work and complain about it. I’ve felt utterly embarrassed waddling around and still working myself to death in house chores. I don’t think he should have an opinion on this situation, after all he isn’t the one carrying the baby. I’d change that in a heartbeat if I could. See how he likes it.
On the other hand, Tom treats me as if I am one of those Venus of Willendorf figures. He makes sure to walk alongside me with no shame, rather pride, as if I am the most beautiful woman on the planet. I am no longer the skinny girl that has curves that draw him to desire and lust; now I have a big bulbous belly. Even with the drastic difference, I am still the same Laurie Lindholm to him. It’s honestly really sweet.
“My boss ought to understand, so I would be more than willing to go, honey. You just relax, no putting on any more stress than ya already have,” he says before gently kissing my cheek. He pushes my buttons, knowing how to fix them if they break.
I lean over and turn the light off. Enjoying the darkness and the calm that comes with it. I find my eyelids growing heavier.
The next morning, I’m staring out the car window, watching as dark evergreens pass me by, it is a nice scenery. I look back at Tom. My eyes trail up and down the view. He is gripping the steering wheel with his right hand, while his left holds his head up. His eyes are focused intensely on the road, while mine on him. He’s always at peace when driving, and it is one of the many habits I’ve come to love.
We make it to the doctor’s and hardly wait long at the reception. The lights felt threatening with how bright they are, much different from home. Most of the other patients waiting around are also women. I wonder if they are in the same circumstance as I am. Shortly after watching the fish swim around in the tank while holding hands with Tom, a woman in a full white dress with a cap on her walks out of the door to the left of the reception, coming straight towards us.
“My name is Dr. Riggins. I heard you are the new mother-to-be, Laurie Lindholm, that was coming in for a visit today, correct?”
Tom steps in for me, “Yes ma’am. She wants to have ya inspect her private area to see if there are any problems.”
“That will be fine… do you mind if you sit out in the waiting area while I take care of her for a moment, sir? For confidentiality, I would prefer to check alone, and if something is extreme, you will be notified and allowed to stay by her side.”
I didn’t want to stay silent and let them keep making decisions for me. “Yes, he’s okay with that.” I nudge him gently with a grin to go sit down.
Dr. Riggins raises her eyes a little, happy yet surprised to see as a woman I can do the talking for myself.
“Alright, follow me right this way.”
Before the examination, Dr. Riggins looks at me and sighs.
“Listen, I’ll be honest. I don’t specialize in obstetrics or gynecology. I took you away from your husband to tell you that. We do have a gentleman here who does. He’s highly professional and very trustworthy. Would it be okay if he continues this exam? I can stay by your side here if that would make you more comfortable.” She says to me softly. It seems like this response is automated, as if this exact situation might have happened on multiple occasions.
“I would prefer someone that knows what they are doing… so yes please. Please, don’t tell my husband though.”
“I get it. I understand most women want women to inspect their bodies, since most men are perverted and disgusting. Unfortunately, not many of us are doctors. It was hard for me to get a doctorate, let alone a degree in general. I wish more people would keep pushing to become one though.”
Soon enough, the male doctor walks in. Dr. Riggins stays in the room by my side as he starts the exam. It doesn’t take long to get the results, that it is nothing too serious. I had gotten a urinary tract infection. Which explains the pain in the lower area of my stomach, and why I’ve had trouble using the bathroom.
Dr. Riggins leaves the room to explain to my husband the problem, and what we can do to solve it. The baby is safe, and so am I.
A few weeks later, I’m sitting here with my baby in my hands and Tom by my side. I feel a warmth inside of me that has been hidden for some time. Her little mouth is full of giggles, and she loves to show off her smile - the same way her daddy does. Being home again, I think I can get used to the yellow. It is also considered the color of happiness and joy. It reminds me of the sunflowers or daisies I’d dream of. How could I have not noticed all of the treasures I owned in life, much sooner?