GES with severe emetophobia
Hello everyone. (F23) I am going tomorrow morning for my GES and I am insanely nervous and anxious. I have SEVERE emetophobia, GAD, OCD, and panic disorder. I have only throw up once in my entire life (2 years ago) but have severe panic attacks daily and experience nausea 24/7. I pretty much live on zofran. I have lost a significant amount of weight over the last 7 years after developing anxiety and emetophobia. Over the last year, I’ve lost even more weight, now at 112. I barely eat, constantly feel weak and pretty much spend all time in bed. I have had stomach issues for years now, and after many GI visits being told it was always constipation (I do have chronic constipation) I just knew it couldn’t have just been that. Although I don’t vomit, I quite literally do not let myself and will do anything in my power to avoid it, I do experience early fullness, bloating after eating even drinking water. I will eat and feel sick for hours and hours and feels like the food is just sitting at the top of my stomach.
I of course have done an extensive amount of researching and looking things up about this test and see that many people vomit and gag while eating the eggs. I requested if there was any way I could eat oatmeal instead, but they said they can try to get the oatmeal but cannot guarantee. On top of that I also don’t even eat eggs nor like them whatsoever and probably haven’t eaten eggs since I was a child. I’m not even scared of the results since I have pretty much convinced myself I have GP, but am just ridiculously scared for the test itself. My main symptom of anxiety is nausea and it’s literally impossible for me to eat when i’m severely anxious and having a panic attack so I’m not even sure how i’m going to get the food down. I am so scared I am going to throw up or gag while trying to eat tomorrow. I know if something does happen It will immediately send me into a spiral and I will absolutely not be able to try and get this test done again. After throwing up 2 years ago I was unable to eat or even leave my bed for a long time just out of fear of vomiting again. Kind of looking for a bit of reassurance here, I have been a wreck all day unable to eat anything and only have 4 hours left until I need to stop eating and drinking when cold water is a huge crutch for me with i’m experiencing nausea and anxiety.