Hi bipolar friends,
I've been dealing with bipolar for over a decade, and I've finally gotten to a space where I don't get manic once or twice a year. While this is great, I've been in a rut for over a year and half now which has felt a little like moderate depression, but also just a general feeling of listlessness and loss when I don't feel depressed.
2024 was the last year I felt really happy and motivated to lose weight, meet friends and make new friends and do well at work. However this culminated in a moderate manic episode due to family stress, and looking back on it the whole period of feeling good felt like hypomania, especially since I wasn't sleeping very well for a few months. After that my medication was switched to a more sedating antipsychotic and I've been non manic ever since.
However, I've lost all motivation for the last year and a half to exercise, take care of myself, eat healthy, and socialize. I've just been coasting by for a long time, not feeling happy or fulfilled. As well I've been drinking on and off which hasn't been helping. I'm working as a barista and don't feel like it's the career I want to do forever. I want to go into service and potentially become a peer support worker, but I'm scared to go back to school since I worry that I won't be diligent enough at pass and do well. I started and stopped university for the first 5 years of being diagnosed and feel a lot of trauma from that.
I'm writing to ask if there's any media like books or podcasts that you've consumed that have helped you in your recovery and finding ways to help fight the ennui and depression. If you have any advice too on how to help myself I'd deeply appreciate it. Thanks for reading.