u/ConversationAny6221

I have only ever had one dog. And really, he was more like a "creature". He was a Japanese Chin with no knees in the back, so he kind of hopped like a bunny and did lots of handstands, although he liked to run from the car to the dog park, going as fast as I could run.

When he was a little puppy, one time a child said about him on a trail, "Look, Mom, there's a monkey!" At that time, at about 3 pounds, he looked like a little white monkey using his front paws to balance along.

My little dog could ride in my bike basket, in any sorts of bags, a shirt I had with a front pocket, my backpack, the car, and he liked going on my parents' boat. I would bring him anywhere I could- the coffee shop, Home Depot gliding along in the shopping cart or flat cart, to community events and friends' houses as possible.... He would just hang out and usually would sit in my lap. At home, he liked to follow me around and position himself to see me wherever I was. And he used to do long hikes with gusto in spite of his disability. He had a joie de vivre!

My buddy could be let out of the house and would walk a small route near the house and would never run away. He was so polite; he would just scratch on the door when he was ready to come back in and wait for me to open the door and say "Come in!" He liked to play "find it" and search for green beans all over the house. He loved tummy rubs and to be brushed. He liked to play toys when I would make them pop out for him to attack or run around being silly. He was really just happy and quirky, calm, loyal, loving and very smart and attentive. I could not have possibly asked for a better dog. So, of course the loss is rather crushing. He was my best friend for over 8 years through all sorts of adventures.

Fortunately, I was able to say goodbye and help him with his transition when he needed Euthanasia on his last day. His body was done but his spirit was spirited to the very end!

Considering death as a transition rather than an end has helped me with the grief and feeling like I am part of his continuation and he is part of mine. I have set out a memorial/altar with his photos, paw print, food and water and a candle to help him on his way. Perhaps his body was tired, but he is transitioning to his next phase, whatever that may be. Tibetan Buddhism talks of Bardo, a transitional period of up to 49 days when the being who has passed reviews its previous life and finds its next place. Supposedly the being is in a subtle stage where they can understand emotions and thoughts of those they were close to, and they can still be affected by our love, gratitude and good deeds that are dedicated to their wellbeing. I have given my buddy a chanting ceremony with a speech I wrote for him, and I have donated for him and my household is going to do a small event to give away his food at the local farmers market. I have also done jogs around the dog park and at some of our favorite places to hike, sometimes carrying around a small token paw print that a friend gave me to remember him by. I light his candle at his memorial/altar for a few minutes each morning and talk to him if I want to. I plan to do this intentionally for 50 days for him and me. It is helpful to me as I am transitioning too, adjusting to life without him. My kiddo said he has already crossed the rainbow bridge; sometimes kids know these things. But either way, I still feel connected to my buddy in a way, like we are on this journey of transition together. I know he cannot be with me physically anymore, but I honor and love him always. I am open to hearing more ideas about how to honor and love and get through the grief, so feel free to share.

Thank you if you have read about my special guy! And I hope this may help someone else whose buddy has passed.