Worried about the Erasmus lifestyle affecting someone I’m getting close to
Hi everyone,
I’m seeing someone who is currently doing Erasmus in Lisbon, and I’m starting to get quite emotionally attached to him.
He actually introduced me to his friends quite early on and makes an effort to include me — I’m definitely not something he hides. We’ve also talked about the possibility of getting to know each other better and maybe trying something more serious in the future.
But at the same time, his day-to-day life there seems very centered around going out, partying, and drinking a lot. His Erasmus friend group is also very much into that lifestyle.
I understand Erasmus is a very free and intense experience, but I can’t help feeling a bit unsure about how that environment might affect him or our connection in the long run.
I’ve also noticed he goes out drinking quite often, and I’ve already asked (maybe a bit insecurely) about past situations where he might have hooked up with someone while being out at clubs, and he said yes. At the same time, he also says he doesn’t really like hookup culture and that he prefers something stable and long-term, which is a bit confusing for me.
So I guess I’m just trying to understand if this is something common in Erasmus — like people saying they want something serious but still getting carried away by the lifestyle — or if it usually becomes clearer with time.
Has anyone been through something similar, either dating someone during Erasmus or being that person themselves?
How did it affect your relationships or priorities?
Would really appreciate honest perspectives.