u/Content_Amount9594

lol im currently coping with the loss of my second buuut

i was literally a freshman in highschool when i fell in love w my first love, and we dated until mid sophomore year. i got over him mid junior year, and 5 months after (now) i dont even care about his existence and what he's doing with his life.

i talked to him every single day for more than a year, we called 24/7, hung out all the time, etc. i had never loved someone so affectionately and he was my first kiss and everything. the crazy rollercoaster of feelings was amazing and i remember being so addicted to him. i got severely depressed after the breakup and i constantly saw him hanging out with girls i knew were kind of judgy/liked male attention, and they posted with him a lottt and it hurt me. we ended on kinda bad terms and had each other blocked for a long time, although he unblocked me way earlier because i think he got over it faster than i did (avoidant lol).

well, how did I get over him?
--> time time time, journal journal journal, friends friends friends. i spent so much time with myself and my friends the summer after (although I did kind of rebound, but please don't resort to that because it just makes everything super messy). I went out and got sunshine, ran a ton, journaled my feelings out, wrote everything down on paper sometimes and just shredded it into pieces, threw away everything that reminded me of him/or that he gave me, etc. deleted all the photos, everything.

you learn to give yourself closure if you didn't get any. i swear.

it's possible to look at them one day and not feel anything anymore except maybe wanting the best for them. that's the most I'll ever feel for him.

you will be okay, it's possible, many before you have done it and you are more than capable.

i honestly dont know where to begin. ive been reading some of these posts and i deeply resonate with them. i really miss my ex, we're both juniors in hs and i met him over the summer last year-i seriously loved him a lot, and in the end it felt like he was trying to convince me that i didnt love him at all even though i did to the best of my ability.

we met in june, started romantically talking in the middle of july, and ended just on the last day of april for good. it's been hard.

i find myself blaming myself a lot because i wasnt healthy in our relationship-i was going through some severe depression and esp because we're juniors he already had a lot on his plate before having to deal with my vents. i wasnt over my other ex for a while in our relationship (basically situationship). i regret making him feel like a venting bot, and i truly miss his company. i was genuinely suicidal and made him feel like he couldnt leave because of it.

i know he disrespected me in a lot of ways, especially with emotionally being unclear about two girls at the start, kind of leading me on the whole time, sa'ing me (without intent, but I know it's kind of bad that I was pressured or felt uncomfortable), and especially being hot and cold with me in the end.

he told me he cared about me and we'd try to be friends after going NC for a while, at the very least, and it gave me hope in our relationship/friendship. the next day though, he just dropped me and said he didnt want to talk to me again and that his parents/friends convinced him im manipulative and bad for him. the switchup is leaving me very blindsided, and it hurts more than anything, especially him saying he doesnt have an obligation to be kind to me anymore or repeatedly telling me to shut up, and not taking accountability for the sa/saying that i "seduced him", which is victim blaming.

all in all, im just heartbroken and i dont know what to do.

okay so for context, ive been friends with her for like 3 years now, and i was with this guy for almost a year. i recently told her that he did pretty bad things to me (things that can be considered sa) and i explained to her this. but theyre still friends and im pretty sure she still lets him tutor her for this one class, and her response to what i told her about him hurting me and being really mean was just "oh are you going to confront him about it or leave it". not a "are you okay?" "do you want to talk about it?" and she was avoiding spending time with me. we've both been rly busy this year, but i fell into a really deep mental health slump and i think she thought that during that time i was just spending time w my ex and choosing him over her and i completely didnt mean for her to feel that way. but i dont think her response is very...considerate? i dont know what to think. because theyd study call and not invite me sometimes i felt uncomfortable or worried, and they got along pretty well. but her staying friends with him even after he did all of that to me and she knows makes me feel weird.