u/Consistent-Talk-9076

PS: hedha il post original eli 7kit fih 3la 3ala9ti m3a 5ouya lekbir:

Original Reddit post
(raw long barcha 😭)

resume rapide:
kbert fi dar win 5ouya lekbir ken 3andou influence kbira barcha 3liya psychologically. Baba ken absent fil torbia w barcha decisions wala opinions kenou yodkhlou 3abrou. Kif kont sghir kont nchoufou presque parfait w ntaba3ou fi kol chay.

M3a lwa9t walit nلاحظ enou fama domination psychologique subtle. Y7eb dima houwa eli yfasser reality, houwa eli yfhem akther, houwa eli kelmtou temchi. Ki n7awel na3ber wala n5alefou fel ra2y, ywalli fama tashkik fi perception mte3i wala t7akem fil conversation.

Hedha athar 3liya barcha fil façon eli nfhem beha rou7i w les relations. Walit n5abi emotions mte3i, n7ess eli dhhor dho3f 9odem la3bed 7eja 5ayba, w walit over-observing la3bed w intentions mte3hom.

Ba3d barcha snin w traitement psychologique, bdit nfhem eli fama dynamiques unhealthy fil 3ila w fil ba3dh relations okhrin zeda. W hedha 3lech tdhakart ancien ami ken yetsaref b subtle/manipulative ways ama بطريقة ذكية وصعيب الواحد يشدها direct.

Hedha zeda 3lech taw n7eb narja3 n7el contact m3a hedha l'ancien ami and open up to him as he gave me the green light to do it. But I still blocked and I told him that I don't trust him.. he told me 'it's okay t7is keka'.. but never asked why.. ken proche مني men primaire lil l'université ama relation kenet akther scolaire men ay 7eja o5ra. 3omri ma7kitlou 3la mechekli wala 7allitlou rou7i w houwa zeda never did.

Ama n7ess enou men naw3 la3bed eli ynajm yfhem subtilité mta3 klemi w infinite details mta3 descriptions eli na7ki bihom. F نفس الوقت ena 5ayef. N7ess eli mawthou3 ynajm يمشي facilement fi direction 5ayba, surtout w ena vulnerable psychologically taw, I don't trust anyone.. even dealing with my own thoughts ..n9ayad'hom 5tr n9oul momkin ena taw nfaker haka 5tr entourage mta taw warani haka w brh.. (jet le7keya mil manipulation for years ili ken ya3mlheli 5ouya, he manipulates even scenarios to prove I'm good or bad in something or to compliment me or give me a lesson and convince me wrong.. donc walit ma3atich nethi9 fil compliments wala tafkir ili yjini 3la rou7i wala 3la surroundings mte3i 5tr I used to live in my big brother's world.. metaphorically)

N5af zeda la7keya twali manipulation wala gaslighting b tari9a subtle w houwa yesta8el situation mte3i l masla7tou. Houwa intelligent barcha w 9a3ed n5af barcha fi mo5i min kol pas n5amem ini nebda na3malha m3eh..

How can I test the waters with this friend without giving away too much 'ammo' (personal info) too soon?

TL;DR

n7iss fi saturation cognitif m tafkir w il rumination

bch nekteb ili njm kima njm

3andi problème dernièrement bdit nefhem fih chnwa

kont w ena s8ir net9ala9 mil existance mta 5ouya ama menich fehim 3lech

ntaba3 fih akther mil jaych

ili y9oulou na3mlou

5ouya maye3jbouch la3jab, ma8roum bil raisonnement grec w il falesfa il i8ri9 w 9eri barcha ktob 3lihom wkifech l'existance mte3na w chnwa l'objectif mta il kawn...

baba absent fil torbia.. baba 3abd ne9im.. absent f torbia.. yrawa7 e5r nhar.. y3ayit 3lina ma8ir mayefhem.. yra b 3inih mch b mo5ou.. 3andou 5 rules .. tkamel sa7nek.. tor9od bikri.. tetfarej f talvza 30min .. 7eja mchet 3la 5ouk lekbir temchi m3a ili jé ba3dou.. ma3andikch il 7a9 tetkalem ba3dou jemla..

5ouya 5dhé il mech3el 3la baba ki 3mal ili 7ab baba f 4 rules (ki kenou fama 4 rules)

w rkeb 3la baba.. yetkalem akther min baba fil 3ila.. mayebnich 3al klem ili y9oulou baba.. baba yebni 3la klemou fi conversation.. tawlet il mekla.. yo93ed fi blaset bou il 3ila w aktherhom 9dar kima fil aflem centered.. ki yji baba ya3tih télécommande bch y7ot émission netfarjou feha 3ila kemla.. ki tsir 7eja bin ena w 5ouya le5r baba maya3ml chay.. y9oli 5ouk 3andou maya7ki m3ek.. ki 5ouya y3a9ebni baba y9oli rahou [esm 5ouya lekbir] 9alek inti m3a9eb.. to5rjch min bitek nhar kemil ilama tkamel kteb hedha.. etc.

kilmet baba 3andhech 9ima b nesba laya 9ODEM KILMET 5OUYA LEKBIR.. ki tsirli mochkla fi 7yeti baba y9oli bara chewir 5ouk.. bara as2il 5ouk.. ki nemchi l5ouya.. y3amilni ki ta8ya.. yebda yo8zorli min fou9.. mtaba9 chfeyfou w 3e9idha.. mta 3abd y7ib yetsalet w yo7kom.. w yebda ya7ki kayenou raboukom il a3la.. yebda ya7ki bil 3arabia w yetfalsif 3lik.. yebda ya7ki m3ak w y5alikech ta7ki m3eh.. ki ta7ki m3eh 2min hwa ya7ki 18min.. ki mato8zorlouch fi 3inih yet8achech w y3Ayet 3lya w ywa9ef le7dith w ytaba9 chfeyfou.. w y9oli ki na7ki m3ek to8zorli fi 3inaya.. bil 3yat y9oulheli.. w yet3ada baba y3ala9.. (kima la7asa fil 5edma lil 3arf) y9oul 'lsenou twal'.. 'rassou s7i7'.. 'isma3 klem 5ouk'..'na3n din wledik' .. 'ki bch nmout mch bch til9a ken 5ouk' .. 'wlh ken ta9rach 3la rou7ik kima 5wetik la ne9blik f dar, bouk ma3atich ta3rfou'.. 'wlh ken ta9rach 3la rou7ik w twali kima 5wetik la te5ou warth'.. //y9oulha b façon mta 3abd ma8loub 3lih w te3ib 3l5r émotionellement/psychiquement w ne9im.. //hedhi kifech ena ri'tha ya jme3a ynajmou awsafi ykounouch 100% s7a7 .. 3andi problème fi wasf meche3ir w t3awid le7keyet 5tr ((hedha drawbacks mta 3andik 5ouk ya7ki dima w ki tetkalem inti ya ysaktek ya y8altek fi fekrtk ya maysad9ekch fi fekrtk b tari9a 9odem il 3ila kol, nhar lyoum 3andich thi9a jemla fili bch na7kih bch ysad9ou il 3abd 9odemi, literally, ken 5ouya lekbir il péage mte3i bch nvalidi 7eja fi 7yeti.. ken hwa 7ké 3leha .. ya3ni 3maltha .. ken hwa chkarni 3leha rahi 7eja behya .. otherwise le7keya hedhika 5ayba w matarta9ich w mch f niveau mte3ou, hedha mawdhou3 njm na7ki fih 5tr fama contenu ama n7ib nrakez 3al général hedhi mara))

lbara m dar.. kont nji podium fil 9raya a8labya(maktib/college/lycée)(1 ken martin f lycée).. fil 9ism kont il 3e9il fi 3in il itar tarbawi..bin mou3almin/asethdha bin 9aymin w il moudir.. bin s7abi 3e9il tachharit binethom.. fil 7oma (mch 7oma kbira.. nkawrou 9odem dar w biss w zarbout ki wala tendance w t8omidha fi rodhane w t7ossira w mastin west w les 7 kayoux) kont ma3rouf il 3e9il zeda ama décontracté akther 3la m3a s7ab il 9raya w il tilmidh mta il 9ism.. m3a s7abi kont na3ml jaw ki nemchiw nkawrou, nemchiw lil play.. ama makontch n3adi barcha wa9t m3ehom, mane7kiwch mechekil ba3adhna, momkin houma ya7kiw ama ena n'interactich 5tr kont nchoufhom yecir bizarre 3lya, yetchakew min 5wet'hom w min les parents mte7om, mil 9raya, min période l'examanet..etc ena wa9tha I couldn't relate jemla 5tr 5ouya 3andou values mte3ou ili da5alhomli b sif l mo5i donc walit kima hwa 7ab (kil 3eda neb9a nesm3ou w no8zorlou l3inih ki ya7ki, ki nwali nebki w nenhar, y9oli rani n7ibik, hwa yched il bakya mte3ou, ye7kili y9oli bouk dhalmouh w bouk 8adrouh w ybakini akther, y9oli 5ouk le5r tmanykou 3lih w yzid ybakini, y3ayet 3lya w y9oli haythem, 7ayet mehech sehla, haythem rana 7atchay fil bled, haythem lezm tkoun 9wi, w ena nebki nebki, ybousni min rassi, w y9oli bara a8sel wejhek, w ena 7alti 7lila nafsanya til9ani, n9oulou 3edi, 5tr tellement mistenis bil s3ib, donc dhohritli wa9tha bch nemchi na8sel wejhi w noufa il conversation luxe w 7eja matsirech jemla, dima kont n7is 5ouya ye5tarli chemin s3ib f les choix mawjoudin, ama guess what nkamlou il conversation w il bké mara o5ra, akl bakya le5fifa ba3d mayoufalik il bké il mara loul haha..

f dar mn chira o5ra dima mch 3ejbou 5ouya tasaroufeti m3a omi w baba w m3eh w kifech netsaref w 'lseni twil' w 'ma3atich kima l3eda' w 'rassi s7i7' , btw 5ouya m3eya haka 5tr yrani 5ir menou (mara 9al l baba inou najim nkoun 5ir menou) , ya3ni m3a 5ouya le5ir maya3mlch l 7eja hedhi.. ena wlhi t3a9adet walit nsada9 ili 3abd menich metrobbi w ma3Atich nsada9 l'image mte3i l bara mta dar bin s7abi w il profet w il 7oma ama nhar lyoum 3rafet ili ena I got illusioned.. f akl mochkla ili ya3mlha hwa ywaliw omi w baba yrakzou 3leha w ywaliw ysad9ouha w y3emlouni b tari9a hedhika, lin HOUMA ysa3bou w ena nfed akther w netsaref bil 5ayeb akther, boucle kol mahoum ytal3ou ena natla3, lin nhar wselt 3malt CRISE de panique, tellement ma3atech merte7 fi akther blasa l'etre humain y7is feha b sécurité w ra7a ili hya il home win omik w bouk.. b zhar nharetha 5ouya theni ken l bara fil 9ahwa m3a las7ab.. khw 93adet barcha bch ridht w tchalit naw3an mé walit net7arek b ralenti w walew y7ibou y7otouni fil farch w mé zhar w omi te8lef fya bref 7asilou omi ma3atech fehma chnwa ta3ml, baba mazdoum min 8adi (najim n9oul baba m nhar hedheka wala radh m3aya w ma3atich literally ya7ki m3eya wala y3ayit 3lya wala cool w wala y9oli haythem mafibelich ili enti tla3t sensible haha) , jé 5ouya mil 9ahwa ken m3a s7abou zehi, d5al yas2il chnwa sar w chnwa fama, 3ed omi w baba 9alou labes t9ala9 chwaya y7ib yerte7 fi farchou, 5ouya ysalem 3lya, haythem labes haythem tesma3 fya w ena 7alti 7ala, awel mara tsir 5ouya mafhimch, d5al fi panique, khw 3ed 5ouya awel mara nchoufou akeka wala y3ayet mn chirtou 9al klem nsitou ama nethdaker 9al saybouh saybouh fazatouh wala 7eja haka wlhi nsit ama ena fhimtou ili houwa fhimni nharet'ha, w wala yejri y7ib yo5rij m dar ye5i ena 7assit ili houwa fhimni w lem omi w baba w tdhakart ili houwa ken dima fi 7yetou sakouti w weklinlou rasou ye5i 5rajt mil 7ala mte3i w 7assit 3la 5ouya w mchit nejri w 5lat 3lih 9itou ta7 bil bké w ra3cha fil couloir mta l dar w bdé yebki, ki mchitlou fil 9e3a, 5dheni fi sedrou w wala yas2il fya 'haythem lebes? haythem lebes? haythem 9oli? haythem 9oli? a7ki m3eya, 9oul ay kelma'// b tari9a mta we7id 5ayef w klemou yor3ich, ki ena tkalamit nsit chnwa 9olt ama 9olt ili ena lebes walit nas2l fih 5tr ena wa9tha 5offft 3la 5ouya awel mara nrah Y3ABER, 9ali 'chihimek fihom haythem, hani m3ek, chihimek fihom, hani m3ek ena', bkit w dhamitou akther w 9otlou 'n7ibik', jewebni '9ali 7atena n7ibik 3ach5ouya, il mouhim inti lebes'.. jew omi w baba w 5altou 3lina .. 9awmouna zouz w MILI JEWNA OMI W BABA W 9AWMOUNA MA3EWDTCH RIT 5OUYA Y7IB Y3ABER KIMA KEKA WALA DEVELOPPA M3EYA 7EJA FIL MAWDHOU3 ILI SAR NHARETHA!

donc values mta 5ouya kenou twarich dho3fik 9odem la3bed jemlaaa.. //nsit bedhabt 3lech w chnya philosophy mte3ou bedhabt wa9tha

wallit m3a s7abi jemla n9oul 7eja twari dho3f, mili ena fil maktib, yjini we7id y9oli 3andi mechekil, ena nwali nelbes masque mta haythem ma3andikch mechekil inti 5tr ken tetchaka min mecheklik twali dh3if (appliqui nafs il application 3la kol 7eja zouz s7ab ynajou na7kiw feha)

trabbit w ena na3ml ken les activités m3a las7ab wala fil les clubs wala m3a wled l5alet w il 5wel

donc masarich 7ata connexion humaine bin la3bed ili deyra bya (connexion humaine b nesba laya, feha émotion humaine, raw human-being , contraire mta 5ouya lekbir ili y7ib yfasa5 les émotions mte3ou bch yodhhorich dh3if)

3andi 12 3am taw w ena n3ich ma8ir mana7ki chay l 7ata 3abd ken deyr bya, makench 3andi des liens, ken as7ab 5tr fama 7eja binetna, ena lyoum fi bled o5ra 3la tounis, 9ararit bch nsaker les réseaux sociaux mte3i kol w nchouf 3lech ena met9ala9 min 7yeti.. ye5i 9it 7keyet 3ale9ti ena w 5ouya.. 5ouya 9ali explicitement ili hwa yakrah klem gen z mta 'toxic' w 'red flags' , ena taw n7isou ya7ki m3aya w y9oli matektbch ili relation mte3na ya haythem TOXIC, ama ena bch nektebha w bch n9oulha, bch nkamel nhari 5ayeb w bch y3arekni fi mo5i taw ama miselch yezi masma3t klemou, (n7issou yet7akem fya fi mo55i) // 5ouya 3andi 10 months w a7na n3ichou nafs il city, istad3eni fi romdhane rfodht il istedh3a, awel mara neb3id haka btw w I'm feeling way better than any previous time in my entire life.. 7ata message njewbik ken 3la as2la kima ena really n7is, ken manrach lien fil message manjewibch, pas de video call, pas d'appel // étape hedhi min akther les étapes ili meaningful nraha fi 7yeti ba3d machoft akther min 11 psycologue/psychiatre (bin urgence psychiatric/bin omi ki kont fil bled t7ib thezni w ena til9eni ma3andi mane7ki WALA menich fehim rou7i WALA mana3rach na7ki 3la événement sar fi mo5i/bin ki 5ouya bil appel video m3ana min bara tounis ya3ref ili ena mchit l psy yet8achech 3la omi w baba w yloumhom w y9oulilhom 3lech t'hez fih l psy jibhouli ta nel9alou 7al- 5ouya 3andou 0 interaction m3a itar tibi- donc ena net9ala9 ki nemchi nesma3 klemou w n7ewil na7ki m3eh 3la 7eja m9al9itni sachant ili hwa y5alinich merte7 w ena na7ki m3eh 5tr yjuji barcha w surtout omi w baba til9ehom m3ah w mtab9in chfeyefhom w y3al9ou 3la ay 7eja t9oulha, wa9tha net9ala9 w n9oul 5ouya base mafhimnich ama ena 3andi il 7a9 w nimchi l psychiatre w netfehmch ena wayeha w ba3dh marrat nsada9 5ouya ili ma3andi chay kima houwa y9oul)

t3ibt émotionnellement w ena nekteb fil post, 9adech emotions are draining b nesba l 7ejet physique w mentale fil etre humain.

ena lyoum 3andi hopital na3ml f traitement m3eh

de l'autre coté ili problème mte3i, mafama 7ad msada9ni mil 3ila 5ouya lekbir 7kit m3eh nkor kol chay w 9ali hedhika il 7a9i9a mte3ik mch il 7a9i9a il motl9a.. 5ouya le5r zeda kima 9olt lfou9 bil majuscule mn nhar hedheka mta panique ili 3malha hwa maritouch y7eb y3aber.. ki nas2lou 3la 7eja ena choftha ykadheb w yonkor wy9oli mch s7i7.. y9oli nafs klem 5ouya lekbir haha (il 7a9i9a mte3ik mch il 7a9i9a il motl9a).. omi w baba jarabit na7ki m3ehom f santé mentale mafihmou chay.. kima 9olt lfou9 3omri ma3mlt s7ab binetna des émotions.. ena f spectre mta l'autisme, 9e3id n7awel net3aref 3la s7ab nwali na7ki m3ehom des émotions, l9itha s3iba 3ll5r, so3b mte7a manefhmch l3abd ili 9odemi 3lech y9oul 7ejet w 3lech yetsaref b tari9a mou3ayna(kbirt w ena la3bed kol accecible w ne7ki m3ehom normal kima 5weti 3omri ma3malt majhoud bch na3ml as7ab, nhar lyoum skill ma3andich and it's really hard surtout w ena complexé ili ena menich mta s7ab 5tr 5ouya lekbir y9oli famille 9ball mahmé ken sa7ib wala sa7ibtk famille 9bal kol chay donc ena sarou w makontch investi m3a las7ab w kont akther investi m3a l famille coté wa9t, complexe mte3i hwa préjugé fih inou éna na3rach les limites w wa9tech no9rob lil 3abd w wa9tech lé 5tr man7is chay literally, choft 3bed ya7kiw y9oli intuition, ena ma3andich intuition ta9rib hahaha)

sou2el: ena lyoum t3adi'tha il famille, 9e3id juste en lien m3a 5ou bark, 5tr ma3andi 7ad w y3awen fya f traitement mte3i 5tr, spécialiste 9ali ab9a m3a 3abd 5tr lezmch tab9a wa7dik w inti f traitement.. 5ouya man7isouch 5ouya barcha.. ça passe quoi, 3al bar b chwaya.. n7ib ne5ou des expériences berrasmi kifech la3bed twensa y5amou, chnya lma3loumet ili ta3rfouha w testa3mlou feha, ili 3andou des expériences mil bara zeda je suis très ouvert w ma3andich m3a culture bark nkamel beha 7yeti?..

n7ib n9oulha bourjoulya haha, j'en ai marre mil 3ila mte3i kifech t5amem HAHAHAHAHAHA

n7ibou reddit mta tounis❤️

N5amem narja3 nkalem sa7bi el 9dim.. ama khayef mel tale3ob mte3ou

Thinking of reconnecting with an old friend, but I’m unsure about past subtle manipulation dynamics

5ouya akber menni b 12 ans SPECIAL? wala ena 8alit fih???