Stepping on toes
I’m not going to lie - I sometimes step on the toes of my direct reports.
Usually it looks like this: I get to something before they do, jump in too quickly, or overhelp in a way that probably feels more undermining than supportive. I know that can be frustrating, and I’ve been trying hard to be more aware of it, communicate better, and not default to taking over.
But it happened again.
What’s messing with me is that this time, we had actually aligned that I was going to handle the thing. And it still landed with my direct report like I was stepping on their toes.
That part hit me hard.
I feel defeated. Like no matter what I do, I get it wrong - either I move too fast and overstep, or I back off and risk things slipping through the cracks.
I know this is probably part control, part anxiety, part accountability instinct. But when you genuinely care about outcomes and also genuinely do not want to disempower your team, it can feel like an impossible line to walk.
For those of you who have struggled with overfunctioning as a manager - how did you learn the difference between being helpful, being clear on ownership, and accidentally undermining people anyway?
I want to get better at this without swinging so far the other direction that things start falling apart.