I would love your thoughts on this because I'm still like a deer caught in headlights. I am also extremely hurt and rethinking how I should move forward.Two weeks ago I was helping my Mom declutter and I found a last will and testament that she drafted up with my sister 3 years ago( in secret). In the will the only thing I will receive is a necklace. I do not come from a wealthy family but to be fair her home is worth almost $400,000 and she does have a few of 401k's and some savings.
To give you a little backstory and a little bit more context my father died a few years ago. I have quite a few siblings but only one was left the "estate". Five years ago I moved further away due to the cost of living in the big city but once or twice a week I will drive 4 to 5 hours (depending on traffic )to see my Mom spend some time with her and bring her things that she needs. I will help her around the house. I will order things for her online and have them shipped to her and I will order dinner for her sometimes because she's in her '80s now and she is getting frail and doesn't cook that much anymore. Usually when I do go to her house I'll bring her some take out that will last her a few days. I will usually bring toiletries and some other household items that she may need. I'm happy to do these things for her and want to make sure she's comfortable and has everything she needs in her older years.
I say all this to say I'm not a deadbeat daughter! I'm not able to be there everyday but I think traveling 4 to 5 hours up 7 times a month is a good effort. Before I moved away I was at her home about 3 times a week so you can't imagine that I am hurt about this. I confronted her the next day because I was too angry to confront her the day of.
I decided to keep my mouth shut and finished helping her around the house I didn't leave there till 10:30 p.m. and didn't get home until almost 1:00 a.m.
The next day I sent her a text message confronting her about it she didn't respond so I gave her a call. She completely gaslighted me on the whole phone call calling me foolish for being worried about such trivial things .She even said that it was a fake will even though it is notarized and there are two witnesses on there. She totally devalued the way that I felt and she didn't want to talk about it and this is how my mom is whenever she's confronted with something serious ,she tries to downplay it change the subject and turn it on you. I don't feel like I did anything wrong to confront her about it and ask her about it. The conversation got heated because she didn't want to admit that there was indeed a will. I ended up hanging up in her face 😔 😬.
The following Monday I called the law office that drafted the will and they said that my sister was their client and it would be a conflict of interest if they were to complete a codisil ( an amendment to the will) if my sister isn't there. So it turns out that my sister was the one that took my mom to this law office and had complete estate planning done behind our backs she didn't give any of us a copy of the will. A friend of mine checked the county records she's also on the deed.. the only one on the deed to my mom's house. I later went back online and got a copy of the deed for myself and my friend was 100% correct. My sister and I do not get along so the likelihood of her making any changes in my favor any of my other siblings favor is highly unlikely. I feel like this whole thing is so immoral and wrong. The reason why I am posting this today is because I waited for some time to pass and for me to cool off and for my Mom to cool off and we broached the subject again today . I got the same run around for 10 minutes😵💫🫨.. she was changing the topic and when I asked her if she wanted to update the warranty deed to the house at least she told me no she's going to leave it the way it is. She said her desire and her wish is to have all of us split the house but I keep trying to tell her that's not what the will says and only one person would be the owner of the house in the case of her on timely demise. If she doesn't update the warranty deed that everything goes to my sister.
She told me I'm being silly for worrying about this and it's not a big deal but I know it's only fair for me to want to get my fair share but at this point it's been such a headache and if it's not her desire to have me on the warranty deed or in the will I'm just going to let it go .How would you guys feel and how would you guys move forward? I would love your thoughts on this . If you made it this far thanks for reading my post.