u/Consistent-Clock-140

Hey everyone, I need some advice. I have a bit of a crush on a guy I met recently. I first approached him because I needed help with my overage, and since then, we've interacted a few times-like in the office-and we even exchanged numbers for professional reasons.

I've asked him for help twice, and he's been really kind-he even invited me to his office, and we had good talks.

But I'm too shy to tell him how I feel, and I don't know if he feels the same.

I have added him on Instagram, and I found out we have a lot of common interests.

I told my senior coworker (who was his senior as well- she's really close to me) that I like him, and we have similar goals. She offered to talk to him on my behalf so I can get a clear yes or no, and it feels a bit less awkward. Should I let her do that, or should I just take the risk and tell him myself? But I get really shy and awkward, so I don't think it would be easy for me to express myself. I really just want clarity. What would you all do?

My friend started talking to a guy with serious intentions from the beginning not casually or as a hookup. Over time, things got pretty serious between them, and according to her, he’s genuinely a good person. She says they connect really well, he treats her nicely, and she hasn’t noticed any major red flags except for one huge issue:

He disappears.

Not for a few hours or even a couple of days, but sometimes for weeks or months. When he comes back, he says he was depressed, overwhelmed, or that communication is hard for him. The thing is, he doesn’t communicate beforehand or ask for space he just vanishes completely. And this has fucked her mental health.

This has happened more than once. She already gave him chances before, and every time she tries to seriously talk about it, he avoids the conversation or shuts down. I’ve told her she should probably move on because this seems emotionally exhausting, but she doesn’t want to because she really believes he’s a good guy. They haven't met because the guy lives in Germany.

Recently, she told him something like: “If this keeps happening, I’m going to walk away.” He didn’t really respond, didn’t try to reassure her, and just went quiet again like before. And it's been weeks.I asked her to block him.

So I’m wondering:

Do people struggling with depression actually disappear like this and then come back acting normal? Or does this sound more like emotional unavailability/lack of interest/avoidance?

I’m trying to understand both perspectives here.