Jake is a bad father
I feel like a lot of Avatar fans refuse to admit that Jake has genuinely been a bad father to Lo’ak, and somehow think acknowledging that means saying he doesn’t love his kids. Both things can be true at the same time.
Jake absolutely loves his family and wants to protect them. His grief after Neteyam’s death is real, understandable, and honestly heartbreaking. But grief does not erase the way he treats Lo’ak.
People always justify it by saying Jake is harder on Lo’ak because he sees himself in him, and sure, that’s probably true. But understanding why someone acts a certain way doesn’t magically make the behavior okay. Since Avatar 2, Jake has constantly judged Lo’ak, blamed him, and made him feel like a disappointment no matter what he does.
And that matters, because Lo’ak clearly needed emotional support more than anyone. The kid was already insecure, constantly trying to prove himself, and Jake just kept reinforcing the idea that he was a problem. At some point it stops being “strict parenting” and starts becoming projection.
What makes it worse is that Jake is clearly capable of being emotionally understanding — just mostly with Kiri. She’s the only child he genuinely tries to listen to and understand. Meanwhile Lo’ak gets criticism almost every time they interact. (And Tuk barely even counts because she’s too young to be involved in most of the conflict.)
Even Lo’ak almost taking his own life didn’t come out of nowhere. Obviously Jake is not the ONLY reason for that, but acting like his treatment of Lo’ak played no major role feels dishonest.
And again, none of this means Jake is evil or that he doesn’t care. He’s traumatized, grieving, overwhelmed, and trying to hold his family together while carrying enormous pressure. But those truths can coexist with the fact that he emotionally failed Lo’ak as a father.
Being in pain explains his behavior. It doesn’t automatically excuse it.