My wife and I have been together since 2013 and married since 2015. We have a daughter, house, pets, you name it. There hasn't been a thing I wouldn't do for her since day 1. She has had a history of mental issues and been on and off medication for 20+ years so she goes through swings mood phases.
About 6 months ago, she got heavily into writing erotic fiction novels online. She meant a community of people and really clicked with others with the same interest. I fully encouraged this as I wanted her to be happy and this seemed to really be helping her. She then moved into creating AI chat bots which she had great fun with and would share with her community on Didcord. That morphed into her starting her own Discord community for her writing where she pretended to be a lesbian and didn’t mention her husband. Fine, a little more concerning, but still fine if it was helping her.
Fast forward to about a month ago, she asks me if it is ok yo have an online girlfriend. I said sure as the girl lived in Texas so it wasn't like she was going to go visit her and even if she did during a planned vacation with her mom and aunt in the summer, I wouldn't be that upset. By this point though, all romantic interest in me had ended. I wasn't allowed to kiss her. I love yous were slow to be returned, etc. We hadn't been intimate really since the end if 2025 outside of a single time even when there had plenty of opportunities while our daughter was out of town at my wife's mom's for the weekend. She always had an excuse about not feeling well or being too busy. I believed all of that trying to be supportive of her needs while neglecting mine.
Skipping ahead again to two weeks ago, she comes to me in the bedroom crying because her internet girlfriend broke up with her to work on herself. They had been FAR more intimate together then I was led to believe. I comforted her and told her it was fine and told her I still loved her and would be there for her. Then she took out the first knife and told me she didn't think she could love me anymore and that she was a lesbian now. Even though she had never actually been with a woman romantically, she knew that is what she wanted and needed. I tried to keep my composure, but that hurt badly. 13 years and now suddenly she is no longer into men and only wants women? A kid, our entire life, nothing to her.
Since then, we have largely split where we live in the same house. She stopped sleeping in our bed and slept on the couch. I rotated with her on that until I could get and put together a bed for her office. Last Thursday, I woke up at 3am and could hear her talking with someone. Being a terrible person. I listened in and it became very apparent they were having phone sex. I heard her get with this girl for the first time in months because she won't let me touch her despite us never having issues like this in the past. I waited until they were done and then angerly texted her about it. After we had it out over text, we NEVER fight, I spent the test of the night on the couch alone and crying. The following night, she had plans to go to a board game bar with what I was originally told was some of her friends from online. She admitted to me that it was actually only going to be one friend who just so happened to be the woman she was taking with and getting off with the night before, another similarly aged lesbian who is separated from her partner. I let her go but I was devastated. I spent that entire night awake in case she needed something, waiting for her to get home.
We talked the next morning about it and she admitted that they had kissed and hung out, but nothing more. I asked her if there was any chance that her and I could still be romantically engaged even if she wants to see other people too and was told no, she couldn't be with a man anymore. She just let me know that she is going to hang out with that friend again tomorrow night and that I would need to take our daughter to her therapy appointment alone while she is off galvanting with another woman. I am just emotionally devastated by all of this. I thought we were going to be together forever but instead I just spent 20 minutes crying on the bathroom floor after hearing her tell another online friend about looking back and realizing the headspace she was in that made her want to be with me and have our kid. It absolutely sucks and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.