
The Living Years
Streaks of white paneling soar past my vision.
Beep.
“I’m sorry, Mister Torres. We’re doing all we can. He’s just-”
Beep.
“He’s just what? You said he was in good condition this morning! Let me see him!”
Beep.
“I understand your frustration, but…”
Beep.
I fade out again.
An encircling, oppressive black compresses my lungs.
My fingers lock.
The aching ceases in my gnarled and broken legs.
My muscles relax.
I close my eyes.
“Every generation blames the one before.”
A loud shock shakes my body.
I’m on my back on the hardwood floor, warm sunlight bathing me. Thin headphones fall as I sit up.
“Marcus!”
Mom.
I leave my room, find her in the kitchen toiling over a pot of fat. A repulsive odor spills from it.
“Do you have to do that in the house?”
The pot beeps.
“What were you doing? I called you seven times!”
“Nothing important. What do you need?”
“Go downstairs and get me the tote of large jars.”
“Sure.”
I walk through the living room. I lay my hand on the heavy wooden door and twist the knob. It gives with a groan.
The steps creak as I lay my weight upon them. The floor ripples where the stairs touched it. The space is an expansive void, the floor splashing as I step. In the middle, I find the tote atop a lone black marbled column. I raise my foot to step, but the shoe stays. I reach for it.
It’s sinking.
Another step. My other shoe is taken.
Another. My socks tear.
I lay my bare foot on the ground. I try to lift it, pulling until the skin peels, strings, splits.
Another step. Muscles tear.
Step by step, my feet reduce to bone.
I try another, tumbling forward, meeting the cold wet ground with my face. I cast my left eye up. Behind the pillar stands a figure in a blackened robe. The skin peels from my face as I try to see, my eye peeling from the socket. The figure shifts toward me as my strength gives and I lay my head down.
A gnarled, fleshless hand extends from under its robe and lays upon me, warm.
A powerful jolt through my body.
I gasped from the basement floor, the contents of a shelf spilled out.
“Marcus?!”
“Yeah?”
“You okay? Loud noise. I was yelling for you again.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” I huff.
I heave up the tote and carry it upstairs.
“I’m sorry I care and want to make sure you’re okay!”
“It’s… whatever. I’m fine.”
She mutters something I can’t hear.
“Whatever.”
I walk back to my room. A half-full suitcase on my bed. I pull a drawer open.
We sit at the dinner table, plates of unnamed pasta lay waiting.
“Jaimie, could you pass me the pepper?”
“Sure, Mom.”
Dad sits unmoving, fingers laced, eyes fixed on me.
I peer at him behind my fork.
“What’s your problem?”
Mom’s hand stops.
“Excuse me?”
“Why’s he staring at me like that?”
“I own the damn house, I can stare any way I wish.”
“You don’t own me.”
“The hell I don’t.”
“Percy-”
“Martha, this is a long time coming. We’ve been more than good to him, more than patient.”
“I’m my own person, I have been for three years.”
“Yet you act like a child. No job, no school plans, no plans period. The way you're going, your only option's the military.”
“What, like you?”
My chest tightens.
“What was that?”
“I said you want me to join the army like you?”
Behind him, the fleshless hand curls around the banister.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I don’t want to end up like you!”
He stands, pounds the table.
“Like what?!”
The figure stands in the doorway, doesn’t intrude.
“I’m not gonna live like a man who cowers at car horns or butane lighters!”
He casts his gaze downward, pointing to the door.
“Get out.”
“Percy!”
“I said get out!”
“Gladly.”
I walk to my room, retrieve the bags. As I pass the table, I look at my brother, his face buried in his arms.
“Sorry, Jaimie.”
He sobs.
“Where are you gonna go?” Mom pleads, choking between tears.
“Somewhere better.”
I turn from them, face to face with the robed thing. This time it doesn’t touch me, just points to the door.
I brush past it into the street, pulling headphones over my ears.
My heart slows again.
It plays.
“I didn’t get to tell him all the things I had to say.”
Two headlights turn down the street.
“Think I caught his spirit, later that same year.”
I feel the rumbling of the engine beneath my feet.
“I’m sure I heard his echo in my baby’s newborn tears.”
The car swerves as I turn toward it. I raise my hand.
“I just wish that I could have told him in the living years.”
As I lay broken in the road, the hooded figure looks upon me. From under its hood, a single ashy tear falls, hits the voided water ground, ripples around me. Though bearing no face, there’s sadness in its gaze.
The plastic sheets crinkle as I face it.
“I won’t get to see them again, will I?”
Beep.
“No.” A wispy rasp echoes from it.
“And I won’t get to take back those things?”
Beep.
“No.”
“Will they ever forgive me?”
Beep.
“Yes, though they’ll never forget.”
I smile, a tear streaking.
“Even after all I’ve done?”
Beep.
“Yes.”
My fingers lock.
“Why would they?”
Beep.
“Because they love you.”
The aching ceases in my gnarled and broken legs.
“Even Dad?” I weep.
“Yes”
Beep.
“That’s good. Better than I deserve.” I choke.
“Words are a currency that can never be refunded, only forgiven.”
My muscles relax.
The streams from my eyes dampen the bib chained around my neck.
“Thank you.”
Beep.
It lays its warming hand upon my shoulder as the windows of my soul are shuttered for one, final time.